IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You sent some documents by post recently, but they did not arrive. Write a letter to the post manager. In your letter -Give details of the situation -Describe the documents -Say what action you want tobe taken.

#documents #post #manager #-give #situation #-describe #-say #action #tobe
Dear Mr or Madam, I am writing to inform you that my family has sent me some documents by post, it has not
delivered
Add a missing verb
been delivered
show examples
 yet
while
Correct word choice
but
show examples
 they sent
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 two weeks ago.
This
 is a brown paper box
thet entitled
Verb problem
containing
show examples
 all of
my
Change the word
the
show examples
 necessary information that I have left
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
behind and I will need
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 in
upcoming
Add an article
the upcoming
show examples
 month.
This
 box
icluded
Correct your spelling
included
includes
 my passport and my educational degree
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 very important
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 me. My parents sent them via
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
 service by your company that you suggested to them. These certifications are crucial for my
applying
Replace the word
application
show examples
. I hope that you
finde
Correct your spelling
find
 them as soon as possible and will solve
this
 problem immediately. I prefer to send them to
delivery
Add an article
the delivery
show examples
 address.I am in an emergency situation and I would like
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
show examples
annoance
Correct your spelling
announce
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
what
happen
Wrong verb form
happened
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it. I look forward to
recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
 your response. yours faithfully, Ostore Hasani
Submitted by ostorr7213 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
There are a few typos and grammatical errors that need to be corrected for clarity: 'thet' should be 'that', 'icluded' should be 'included', 'annoance' should be 'inform' or 'let me know', etc.
coherence cohesion
Improve the structure by clearly separating the details of the situation, description of the documents, and actions you want to be taken into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
The tone of your letter is polite and appropriate for the situation.
coherence cohesion
You used a proper greeting and closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: