Stress is now a major problem in modern society. What are the causes of stress in people’s life nowadays? What should people do to reduce it? Write an essay to give your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. You should write at least 250 words. Your response will be evaluated in terms of Task Fulfillment, Organization, Vocabulary and Grammar.
Nowadays,
stress
is refered
Correct your spelling
referred
as
a head-aching matter which many people have to deal with. Change preposition
to as
This
alarming situation has been caused by various factors and poses severe consequences for humans. Addressing this
troublesome issue is crucial to ensure a sustainble
future.
One of the Correct your spelling
sustainable
most
primary reasons for Correct quantifier usage
apply
this
escalating problem is enormous
pressure in Correct article usage
the enormous
workspace
. Some companies only take care of the performance of their employees and ignore their health aspects. Add an article
the workspace
a workspace
Therefore
, individuals working under
these toxic workplaces have to struggle with Change preposition
in
the
frequent deadlines, strict demands from their bosses, and sometimes Correct article usage
apply
the
peer pressure. Correct article usage
apply
This
presence can be exemplified by the 6-9-6 working style in China, in which workers spend 6 days per week, each day from 9am to 6pm for their job. Long hours working under strict supervision makes them burn out, tired or even depressed.
To address with
the identified matter, going to the therapists can be a viable solution. Because they are professionals in mental health, it is advisable to tackle the Change preposition
apply
stress
following their instructions. Additionally
, having a conversation with these doctors also
make
patients reduce their Verb problem
helps
stress
and feel peaceful after hard-working
hours. Correct your spelling
hard working
For instance
, according to
a
research carried out by Boston University, seeking Correct article usage
apply
helps
from experts is considerably helpful. The patients are recorded to recover faster and be happier after the therapy.
In conclusion, Correct subject-verb agreement
help
stress
is becoming more and more worrying and one of the biggest factors contributing to it is large
strain from work. Correct article usage
the large
However
, people can mitigate this
issue by meeting therapists, who give proper advices
and effective drugs.Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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grammar
Try to proofread your work to catch minor errors such as 'refered' should be 'referred', and 'sustainble' should be 'sustainable'.
task achievement
Expand on the solutions to reduce stress. Introducing more varied solutions such as physical exercise, mindfulness, or maintaining a work-life balance can add depth to your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Consider providing a clearer transition between the identification of the problem (stress at work) and the solution (seeing a therapist). This would improve the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies a significant cause of stress—work-related pressure—and supports it with a relevant example.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a concise overview of the topic and your perspective.
organization
The paragraph structure is well-organized, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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