In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

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People
Use synonyms
are restricted to smoking in public
areas
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in some states. Some say that banning smoking for
people
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in public
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
is justified.
This
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essay totally agrees with
this
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statement, because smoking in public spaces
raise
Correct subject-verb agreement
raises
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the risk of
health
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problems
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for passive
smokers
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and children.
Linking Words
This
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These
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actions are good
to reduce
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for reducing
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pollution
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in public
space
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spaces
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. Cigarettes cause many
problems
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for
smokers
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even for passive
smokers
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,
it is
Verb problem
and they
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impact
for
Change preposition
apply
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citizen's
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citizens'
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health
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.
Linking Words
This
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These
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issues suffer from smoke
habits
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habit
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rising and spreading in every country,
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furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
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it
is increase
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increases
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the risk for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children and nonsmokers to get
health
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problems
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associated with
this
Linking Words
bad habit.
Therefore
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to protect passive
smokers
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some countries banned
people
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from smoking in public
areas
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.
For example
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, Singapore banned and gives extra mulct for
people
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smoking in public spaces,
this
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policy reduces risks for children and nonsmokers to have
health
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problems
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associated with cigarettes. Public space should be convenient for all visitors to do their activities, smokes from cigarettes cause air
pollution
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everywhere;
in addition
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, some
smokers
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put their cigarette butts everywhere. Some states banned
people
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smoke in public
areas
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to reduce
pollution
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and make clean the area for citizens.
As a result
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, the area is cleaner and
people
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are comfortable with activities.
For instance
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,
people
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are restricted smokes in the train station. In conclusion,
people
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should not allow smoking in public
areas
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to reduce
health
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issues associated with smoking behaviour hopefully
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
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smokers
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in society,
thus
Linking Words
will
Verb problem
apply
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decreasing the
pollution
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in public
areas
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and
creates
Wrong verb form
creating
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comfortable places for everyone to activities.
Submitted by kristianningrumkiki on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a more organized structure, such as using separate paragraphs for each main idea.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on your main points more comprehensively to make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to improve clarity and expressiveness.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea, with transitions that make the text flow more smoothly.
task achievement
You have covered the key points about health risks and pollution, which are highly relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and set up your argument well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • prevalence
  • respiratory issues
  • environmental pollution
  • litter
  • healthcare costs
  • smoking-induced illnesses
  • encourage smokers to quit
  • public health improvement
  • justified
  • public spaces
  • exposure
  • non-smokers
  • inconvenience
  • younger populations
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