In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?
People
are restricted to smoking in public areas
in some states. Some say that banning smoking for people
in public area
is justified. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
This
essay totally agrees with this
statement, because smoking in public spaces raise
the risk of Correct subject-verb agreement
raises
health
problems
for passive smokers
and children. This
actions are good Change the determiner
These
to reduce
Change preposition
for reducing
pollution
in public space
.
Cigarettes cause many Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
problems
for smokers
even for passive smokers
, it is
impact Verb problem
and they
for
Change preposition
apply
citizen's
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens'
health
. This
issues suffer from smoke Change the determiner
These
habits
rising and spreading in every country, Fix the agreement mistake
habit
furthermore
it Add a comma
furthermore,
is increase
the risk for Change the verb form
increases
the
children and nonsmokers to get Correct article usage
apply
health
problems
associated with this
bad habit. Therefore
to protect passive smokers
some countries banned people
from smoking in public areas
. For example
, Singapore banned and gives extra mulct for people
smoking in public spaces, this
policy reduces risks for children and nonsmokers to have health
problems
associated with cigarettes.
Public space should be convenient for all visitors to do their activities, smokes from cigarettes cause air pollution
everywhere; in addition
, some smokers
put their cigarette butts everywhere. Some states banned people
smoke in public areas
to reduce pollution
and make clean the area for citizens. As a result
, the area is cleaner and people
are comfortable with activities. For instance
, people
are restricted smokes in the train station.
In conclusion, people
should not allow smoking in public areas
to reduce health
issues associated with smoking behaviour hopefully reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
smokers
in society, thus
will
decreasing the Verb problem
apply
pollution
in public areas
and creates
comfortable places for everyone to activities.Wrong verb form
creating
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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a more organized structure, such as using separate paragraphs for each main idea.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on your main points more comprehensively to make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to improve clarity and expressiveness.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea, with transitions that make the text flow more smoothly.
task achievement
You have covered the key points about health risks and pollution, which are highly relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and set up your argument well.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?