The pie charts compare the amount of online shopping sales for retail parts in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Moreover, those are divided into four categories: travel, film/music, book, and clothes.

The pie charts compare the amount of online shopping sales for retail parts in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Moreover, those are divided into four categories: travel, film/music, book, and clothes.
The given pie charts compare the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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of online shopping
sales
for retail parts in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013,
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, those are divided into four main categories: travel, film/music, books and clothes,
It is clear that
the
sales
from travel had the highest percentage in 2003.
According to
the diagram, the
retail's
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retail
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revenue on travel
have
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has
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seen a decrease of 7% in 2013, which makes it the second most profitable category in 2013,
However
, the music/film sector had a significant increase in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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profits from 2003 to 2013 with a 12% increase.
Secondly
, the clothing sector had a
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
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decrease
on
Change preposition
in
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sales
between 2003 and 2013,
Nonetheless
, the book sector's revenue had grown at a low rate of 3%.
To conclude
, two of the four categories improved its profits,
whereas
the other two had a drop in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sales
.
Submitted by yazanalt523 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

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