Bina celebrity such as famous film star sports personality drinks problem as well as benefit to you think that being a celebrity bring some more benefits are more problem?
In today's
media driven
world Add a hyphen
media-driven
celebrity
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
comes
under immense public attraction and Correct subject-verb agreement
come
scrunity
Correct your spelling
scrutiny
this
allure of fame brings problems as well as
benefit
is well agreed by everybody. I personally believe that Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
this
brings more benefits to society and individual
.
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
To begin
with, film stars or sport
personality are always Change the noun form
sports
major
attraction to the public which can Add an article
a major
benefit
in number
of different ways as they are public Add an article
a number
figure
they tend to get larger financial Fix the agreement mistake
figures
benefit
through sponsorship and advertisement from Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
different
Add an article
the different
a different
product
which is a side incomeFix the agreement mistake
products
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
for example
virat
Kohli famous Indian cricketer who earns Change the capitalization
Virat
a
millions of dollar only by sponsorship from puma company and Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
additionally
with the earnings as salary is separate from it so its
clear by above celebrities are benefited
Replace the word
it's
it is
In
Change preposition
On
contrary
, despite some unusual events captured Correct article usage
the contrary
in
Change preposition
on
camera
cannot be considered Add an article
the camera
a camera
by
every time comes under security as Change preposition
apply
this
can happen to anybody in the
daily life they are the leaders of Correct article usage
apply
the
society and able to earn allure through hard work and Correct article usage
apply
additionally
there earnings are in millions of dollar, considering rarer events are ill presented and needs to be sensored
by authority
Correct your spelling
censored
sponsored
To conclude
it's true that celebrity
earn allure through their hard work which is beneficial to Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
as well as
society some rare events can be considered disadvantageous so celebrity brings more benefit
.Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on
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task response
The essay should more clearly address both the benefits and the problems associated with being a celebrity, providing balanced arguments on both sides to fulfill the task requirements completely.
task response
The ideas need to be more clearly articulated and expanded upon. Some sentences are unclear and need to be rephrased for better comprehension.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use clear and understandable transitions between paragraphs and ideas to improve cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay should have a clear and consistent structure, with well-defined paragraphs for each main idea or argument.
task response
You have provided relevant examples to support your argument, which strengthens your response.
coherence and cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which creates a complete structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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