The chart shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men amd women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men amd women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of post-school
qualification
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qualifications
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, including skilled vocational
diploma
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diplomas
show examples
, undergraduate
diploma
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diplomas
show examples
, bachelor's
degree
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degrees
show examples
, postgraduate
diploma
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diplomas
show examples
and master's
degree
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degrees
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of different
gender
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genders
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in Australia in 1999. It is evident that
the
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apply
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male
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males
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were the majority of people
held
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who held
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skilled vocational
diploma
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diplomas
show examples
back in 1999. In the
mean
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meanwhile
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while
, gender differences experienced
opposite
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the opposite
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pattern as in undergraduate
diploma
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diplomas
show examples
. Going onwards with
degree
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the degree
show examples
getting higher, the percentage of
male
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males
show examples
increased as the percentage of
female
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females
show examples
decreased. Upon closer examination of the data, only 3%
Change preposition
of female
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female
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females
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occupied in skilled vocational
diploma
, and reached the bottom of
overall
Add an article
the overall
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chart.
However
,
female
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females
show examples
exhibit the largest number in holding undergraduate
diploma
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diplomas
show examples
, and slightly higher rates than men in holding Bachelor's
degree
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degrees
show examples
. The
propotion
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proportion
of
female
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females
show examples
was 40% less than
male
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males
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in getting post-graduate
degree
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degrees
show examples
, and even lesser in the field of
master
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master's
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degree
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degrees
show examples
, continuously 30%
verses
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versus
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70%, and 40% to 60%.
In contrast
,
male
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males
show examples
dominated in the area of skilled vocational
diploma
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diplomas
show examples
with 90% respectively. But only 35% of
male
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males
show examples
had undergraduate
diploma
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diplomas
show examples
. The percentage of
male
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males
show examples
slightly rose to 45% and slightly less than
female
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females
show examples
in holding undergraduate
diploma
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diplomas
show examples
and significantly surpassed the number of
female
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females
show examples
in
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apply
show examples
getting post-graduate
degree
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degrees
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.
Nevertheless
,
male
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males
show examples
with master's
degree
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degrees
show examples
also
outnumbered
female
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females
show examples
. In conclusion, few
female
Change to a plural noun
females
show examples
would pursue
for
Remove the preposition
apply
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further
study after
graduate
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graduating
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with
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a bachelor
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bachelor
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bachelor's
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degree
than
male
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males
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. Social
stereotype
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stereotypes
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might be considered as a main factor.
Submitted by 994620786 on

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words diploma, degree with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • levels
  • post-school qualifications
  • proportion
  • men
  • women
  • held
  • clear gender disparity
  • Certificate I
  • Certificate II
  • Certificate III
  • Certificate IV
  • Diploma or Higher
  • highest proportion
  • decreases
  • overall
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