In some countries, employees are generally given two weeks of paid vacation time each year. In other countries, employees are given four or six weeks of paid vacation time. Considering the needs of both employee and employer, what do you think is a reasonable amount of paid vacation time for employers to have?. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowlege or experience.

Workers have generally
two
weeks
of paid
vacation
per year in some countries. In other countries, they get
four
or six
weeks
of remunerated leave
time
. It is my belief that
companies
must give at least six
weeks
of paid
vacation
to reward the effort made throughout the year.
Companies
need to understand that
two
weeks
are not enough for rest and spending
time
with family and friends. Employees are more efficient when they have a fair quantity of free
time
, so they have to perform their duties consecuently with the
vacation
time
given. Some studies have shown that on average, people spend
two
to three
weeks
on
vacation
, and they end up more exhausted than they were at the beginning. That being said, there is no
time
remaining to appropriately rest and have some gatherings, so they finish their
vacation
overwhelmed by
this
fact.
As a result
, the ability to do some tasks is compromised
as well as
the company's income. Employees who have
four
weeks
of paid
vacation
frequently perform their work more efficiently than others who have less
vacation
.
Therefore
workers have to be aware of acting
accordingly
with
this
measure some
companies
have taken. If a chairman gives more free
time
to his workers, it must be reflected in higher income than the
companies
that give only
two
weeks
. In conclusion, from my perspective,
four
weeks
of reward
vacation
are reasonable. It is enough
time
to rest properly and enjoy
time
with our families
while
improving employer performance. All
companies
should bring
four
weeks
of paid
vacation
, so people can have a happy life.
Submitted by otiyog on

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task achievement
Strengthen your argument with more specific examples or data. Referring to particular studies or real-life instances can make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and variety to enhance readability and engagement. This will also help you convey your ideas more clearly and make your essay less monotonous.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly. For example, discuss both the benefits for employees and employers in more detail to provide a balanced viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Work on your transitions between paragraphs and ideas, ensuring they are smooth and logical. This will improve the overall flow and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
The main idea is clearly presented with a solid stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure to the essay, making it easy to follow your argument from one point to the next.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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