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Writing Samples
Band 7

the graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graphs show data regarding
ownership
Use synonyms
 of computers as a
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the population, And by
level
Use synonyms
 of educational degree in 2002 and 2010. From an
overall
Linking Words
pointview
Correct your spelling
point view
, over the years the the number of individuals owning a computer has increased constantly.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
ownership
Use synonyms
 in 2002 was just under 60%, increasing by almost 5% each year.
This
Linking Words
 means that within 8 years the number reached its peak at almost 80% by 2010.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Regarding the relationship between educational
level
Use synonyms
 and the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of owners We can see that in both years (2002 and 2010) the number of computer
ownership
Use synonyms
 is increasing with every higher
level
Use synonyms
 of degree, The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of computer owners without
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 school diploma in 2002 was around 15%,
While
Linking Words
 ones with postgraduate qualification were almost 75%. The same increase happened in 2010
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 people with no high school degree were around 45% and post-graduates just above 90%.
To sum up
Linking Words
, 2010
ownership
Use synonyms
 numbers were much higher than 2002 numbers over all the
level
Use synonyms
 of education. the same statement can be applied to the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the population.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words ownership, percentage, level with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consistent increase
  • growing reliance on technology
  • clear correlation
  • digital divide
  • notable growth
  • most pronounced disparity
  • gap reduced considerably
  • percentage growth
  • higher educational levels
  • educational groups
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