IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men amd women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men amd women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph provides information about the various levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the percentage of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 who undertook them in the year 1999. In general, there are five levels of after-school qualifications : skilled vocational
diploma
Use synonyms
, undergraduate
diploma
Use synonyms
, bachelor's
degree
Use synonyms
, postgraduate
diploma
Use synonyms
 and masters
degree
Use synonyms
. It is conspicuous that out of the five former mentioned degrees, skilled vocational
diploma
Use synonyms
, postgraduate
diploma
Use synonyms
 and master's
degree
Use synonyms
 were a popular choice among
men
Use synonyms
 comparatively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 holding an undergraduate
diploma
Use synonyms
 and a bachelor's
degree
Use synonyms
 was higher than that of
men
Use synonyms
. 90% of
men
Use synonyms
 pursued a skilled vocational
degree
Use synonyms
 which accounts for the highest enrolment of
men
Use synonyms
 and lowest by their female counterparts. The proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 holding an undergraduate
diploma
Use synonyms
 was 70% which is twice of
men
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, a higher participation of
men
Use synonyms
 was witnessed in the postgraduate
diploma
Use synonyms
 which was more than twice
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that of
women
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of males and females holding qualifications decreases as the level increases.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, diploma, degree with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • levels
  • post-school qualifications
  • proportion
  • men
  • women
  • held
  • clear gender disparity
  • Certificate I
  • Certificate II
  • Certificate III
  • Certificate IV
  • Diploma or Higher
  • highest proportion
  • decreases
  • overall
What to do next:
Look at other essays: