IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Task 1 You are looking for a full-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like say what experience and skills you have Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir/Madam You should write at least 150 words. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

#job #employment #agency #sort #skills #sir #madam #minutes
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir/Madam, I am Vithyooth
selliah somasundaram
Correct your spelling
Selliah Somasundaram
show examples
, I am from
srilanka
Correct your spelling
Sri Lanka
Srilanka
,
recently
Correct word choice
and recently
show examples
 I migrated to one of my dream
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 Canada. I have 15 years of strong experience in Retail store manager
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
. I am looking for a suitable role in your organization. I am writing in
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
 to the same. Before I moved to Canada, I had worked in many
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
 companies across the middle east countries and Srilanka.
As
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I started my first job as a Salesman in KM trading in Srilanka. I
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of knowledge about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customer service and
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
,
while
 working there I got
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 opportunity in Qatar as a Senior sales representative. I accepted and moved there,
then
 I got my second great abroad opportunity in UAE as a Retail store manager
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Al-futtaim
Change the capitalization
Al-Futtaim
show examples
international group
Correct your spelling
International Group
show examples
 where I learned many new
thinks
Correct your spelling
things
show examples
such
 as new retail software, People and time management,
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
, coaching, staff evaluation and A great store handling. Once moved to Canada I did my small research on top companies,
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 I found your company was among
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 ten. I am sure I will be
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
show examples
 employee for your company and I am looking forward to
hear
Change the verb form
hearing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive feedback from you. Yours faithfully, Vithyooth selliah somasundaram
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

general
Consider more precise sentence constructions and ensure varied sentence structures to enhance readability.
task achievement
Expand on specific skills and experiences relevant to the job you're seeking in Canada to match local job market expectations.
coherence cohesion
Use connectors and transition words more effectively to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
You have successfully covered all points required in the prompt: introducing yourself, explaining the kind of job you are seeking, and detailing your experience and skills.
coherence cohesion
Your letter has a clear structure with a nice flow from one section to the next, ending with an appropriate closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: