IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that all university students should study whether they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss these views and give your own opinions.

#people #university #students #study #subjects #future #science #technology
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Generally, university
students
 learn
subjects
 which are considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
useful for their
future
 job positions during study time. These
subjects
 are planned for
students
 by universities.
This
 argument that whether
students
 should select their
subjects
 in
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of different fields by
self
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
,
according to
 their
keen
Replace the word
keenness
show examples
 and enthusiasm, is supported and refuted by many.
This
 essay will analyse
this
 argument before declaring a position. On the one hand, motivation comes from interest and favour.
For example
, personally, I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
got my best scores in my favourite subject during my
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
 degree. And in opposite I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
got my worst scores, in which
subjects
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I hated.
In addition
, in my major, Industrial design,
students
 are able to choose their
future
 job among more than 7 different fields
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
students
 have to learn little information about all
them
Change preposition
of them
show examples
, to be prepared for the
future
.
While
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, If they could
to chose
Verb problem
choose
show examples
 their favourite
subjects
 to suit their chosen
future
 position, it would be more useful.
Therefore
, it is logical to let
students
allow
Wrong verb form
be allowed
show examples
 to study the
subjects
 they want.
On the other hand
, technology and science knowledge
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 a great possibility to find a suitable career. Science relates to almost all fields,
such
 as the science of languages, which is called linguistics. As well, technology is found everywhere in related to every field, even in languages.
Thus
, it is clear, how pressure to learn something could have benefits for someone in some cases. All in all, there has always been
debate
Add an article
a debate
the debate
show examples
 between two sides of opinion regarding the ability to select
subjects
 by
students
.
Whereas
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, because of the risk of wrong
chooses
Replace the word
choices
show examples
,
this
 idea seems unlikely, Personally, I believe it is the right of
students
 to opt
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
subjects
 freely. I suggest revising
this
 law to improve the quality of education.
Submitted by axel00lee on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your position at the beginning of your essay and revisit it in the conclusion to provide a cohesive argument.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your examples by providing additional details or context to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Try to balance the discussion of both views more evenly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively outlines the topic and provides a preview of both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The essay includes a variety of perspectives and acknowledges different opinions, which is beneficial for a balanced discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
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