IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Others think face-to-face interaction is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #friends #networks #internet #chat #groups #interaction
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Whilst some
people
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 think that making new
friends
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 via social
media
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 is appropriate, I believe that face-to-face
interaction
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 is important.
This
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 is because by having
a
Remove the article
apply
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face-to-face
interaction
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, the relationship would be stronger than having
interaction
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 on social
media
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. On the one hand, It is easier to make new
friends
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 rather than going outside
such
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 as
school
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to school
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, an academy or some communities. By posting some pictures, sending a direct message and by video call,
people
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 can easily make
friends
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 wherever they are.
This
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 is because
due to
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 the nature of social networking, most of the relationships
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 very light compared to making
friends
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 face-to-face.
For example
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, nowadays a lot of young
people
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 in Korea tend to make
friends
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 on social
media
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 because they think they can make a wider range of
friends
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 and they do not want a deep relationship with each other.
However
Linking Words
, in human relationships,
people
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 need to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
face-to-face
interaction
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 with each other. By having face-to-face
interaction
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,
people
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 can find out about each other's real personalities
instead
Linking Words
 of the so-called "decorated personalities" in social
media
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. Most
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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 like to post the best moments of their lives and tend to behave opposite
from
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to
show examples
 their real personalities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, making
friends
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 from person to person can know more about each other. I agree that
people
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 should make
friends
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 eye-to-eye. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it is much
more
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apply
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easier to make
friends
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via
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apply
show examples
online,
people
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 should make
friends
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 through face-to-face
interaction
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 to have a deep relationship with each other.
Submitted by hchtaell on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between ideas for better flow. For example, use phrases like 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' or 'On the other hand,' to link sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Expand on the examples to provide stronger support for your points. Specific examples will make your argument more persuasive and clear.
general
Work on grammatical accuracy, especially with articles and prepositions. Minor errors can impact the clarity of your ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the issue and the writer's stance, which is well-structured and easy to follow.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure with distinct paragraphs for each point, which enhances readability.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reaffirms the writer's opinion, providing closure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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