IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the average duration of housework women did (unemployed, part-time employed and full-time) when compared to men who had full-time work in the UK between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the average duration of housework women did (unemployed, part-time employed and full-time) when compared to men who had full-time work in the UK between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the average
time
Use synonyms
 of
housework
Use synonyms
 done by British women
according to
Linking Words
 their employment status (full-
time
Use synonyms
 workers, part-
time
Use synonyms
 workers and unemployed) and full-
time
Use synonyms
 worker men from 1985 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 unemployed women spent most of their
time
Use synonyms
 doing
housework
Use synonyms
 activities compared to employed women and men.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, full-
time
Use synonyms
 housewives tended to spend 7
hours
Use synonyms
 a day doing household activities for the
twenty years
Correct your spelling
twenty-year
show examples
 period,
although
Linking Words
 there was a slight decrease by half an hour in 1995. Meanwhile, females with part-
time
Use synonyms
 jobs occupied around 5 to 6
hours
Use synonyms
 of their
time
Use synonyms
 for
housework
Use synonyms
 matters at the same period.
In addition
Linking Words
, male and female employees with full-
time
Use synonyms
 jobs had
fewer times
Fix the agreement mistake
less time
show examples
 in terms of doing
housework
Use synonyms
 jobs among the other categories. Full-
time
Use synonyms
 female workers spent around 2
hours
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing household activities in 1985. The duration decreased,
however
Linking Words
, in 1995 to approximately 1.5
hours
Use synonyms
 a day, before it experienced an increase to about 2.5
hours
Use synonyms
 in 2005. Interestingly, the length of
time
Use synonyms
 occupied by British men with full-
time
Use synonyms
 employment
also
Linking Words
 tended to increase from an hour in both 1985 and 1995
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 to around 1.5
hours
Use synonyms
 in 2005.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, housework, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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