Men are placed in mist high-level jobs. Government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women. Do you agree or disagree?

#men #mist #jobs #government #percentage #women

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It is argued that most high positions jobs are held by males. A school of thought holds

perception

Add an article

the perception

show examples

that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should promote certain portions of these vacancies to females. I totally disagree with the statement above. The essay will elaborate on the writer's opinion. To commence with, males are created in a way that, they

holds

Correct subject-verb agreement

hold

show examples

certain energy that

women

Use synonyms

lacked

Wrong verb form

lack

show examples

. Men can work as many hours without breaks or excuses from their company.

In contrast

Linking Words

, females

tends

Change the verb form

tend

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to get exhausted

Linking Words

particular

Correct article usage

a particular

show examples

given time

such

Linking Words

as menstrual cramps. Which reduces the effectiveness of the job.

In addition

Linking Words

, there are certain caliber of jobs that require

majority

Add an article

a majority

the majority

show examples

of males to be heads

for instance

Linking Words

machinery operator and heavy

fork lifting

Correct your spelling

forklifting

In contrast

Linking Words

, " there is a saying what men can do

women

Use synonyms

can do better " but females are keen to their family thereby deterring themselves from certain positions.

Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

show examples

of higher ranks

comes

Correct subject-verb agreement

come

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with a lot of travelling overseas,

these

Correct pronoun usage

this

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does not work for

women

Use synonyms

since no one

available

Add a missing verb

is available

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

home to take care of their wards.

For

Linking Words

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

if the person is a single mother.

To conclude

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

health issues like menstruation and lack of proper parenting most institutions prefer giving higher ranks to men than

women

Use synonyms

Submitted by priscillaagyeiwaaboahen on Sun Jun 30 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Your essay would benefit from an introduction that is more clear and engaging. Ensure that you properly introduce the topic and clearly state your position.

supported main points

While your main points are evident, they need to be more developed and supported with specific examples. Work on expanding your arguments with more evidence and details.

logical structure

Ensure your paragraphs are well-connected with transitional phrases. This will make your essay flow more smoothly and improve coherence.

complete response

You have addressed the prompt and made clear your stance on the issue. This shows you understand the task requirements.

relevant specific examples

Your essay includes some relevant considerations, such as work hours and family commitments, which are important to the discussion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

210 words

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Men are placed in mist high-level jobs. Government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women. Do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of watching television?

Some people say in order to prevent illnesses and diseases, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Some people believe that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?