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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the percentage of time younger and older people spend on various Internet activities in their free time (excluding email). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of time younger and older people spend on various Internet activities in their free time (excluding email). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #time #people #internet #activities #email #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The two pie charts provide information about the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
time
Use synonyms
 young
people
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 (18–26 age group) and old
people
Use synonyms
 (60–70 age group) spend on internet activities in their leisure
time
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. In general, younger
people
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 spend too much
time
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 on social networking.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, older
people
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 spend a high
percentage
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 of their
time
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 making bookings,
e
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.
g
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., for cinema or travel.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the biggest
percentage
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 spent by young
people
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 is social networking, at 24%. It follows that the percentages are accessing music and films and researching,
e
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.
g
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., health data, at 21% and 20%, respectively. In detail, the next
percentage
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 is playing games and making purchases—just under 20%. Even though the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
percentage
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 is making bookings,
e
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.
g
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., cinema or travel, at 5%,.
In contrast
Linking Words
 with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
making cooking
e
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.
g
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. cinema/travel is the highest
percentage
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 in the age of old
people
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 at 25%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the second leads by researching,
e
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.
g
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., health data and social networking, at around 22% and 21% of each.
However
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 of
people
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 accessing music or films and making purchases is unpopular—just under 20% of both.
Additionally
Linking Words
, playing games is a small
percentage
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 (at 5%) used by old
people
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.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, time, people, e, g with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 9 times.
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