IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

**You have borrowed something from your friend and it got damaged.** **Write a letter to your friend. In the letter:** - **apologise for the damage to the item** - **explain what happened** - **say how you are going to fix the issue**

#**you #friend #**write #**apologise #damage #item** #**explain #happened** #**say #issue**
Dear Neha, How are you doing? I'
m
 writing
this
 letter to make an apology about the
watch
 I borrowed from you
last
 week. I'
m
 really sorry for the damage and loss it caused to you, but I assure
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
show examples
 I'
m
 ready to bear all the expense it has created for you. Let me explain
you
Change preposition
to you
show examples
 all the situation in detail.
Last
 week, I borrowed
this
watch
 from you because I was going to attend my annual school competition where I wore
this
watch
along with
 my formal attire as I was going to deliver a welcoming speech for new
enrolls
Change the spelling
enrols
show examples
 but
while
 playing with friends after
competition
Add an article
the competition
show examples
 I fell off in a playground where your
watch
 got some scratches
along with
 broken mirror. I felt very bad, and immediately I returned home on that day. I promise you I will not hand over
this
watch
 to you until it
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 fixed.
As
Correct word choice
apply
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I've already talked to a mechanic living near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my house, who
guranteed
Correct your spelling
guaranteed
 me to repair
this
watch
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 affordable price with
five
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
years
Correct your spelling
five-year
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 warranty,
also
 he is going to fix all the issues it had before
this
 incident. Again, I'
m
 really sorry for the inconvenience I caused to you. I hope you
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 not be missing your
watch
 a lot. Yours Regards, Amanjot Kaur.
Submitted by amanjotkaur0303 on

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grammar
Watch out for minor grammatical issues and typos, such as 'guranteed' which should be 'guaranteed' and 'an apology about' which should be 'an apology for.'
coherence
Consider breaking up long sentences to improve readability. For example, "I'm really sorry for the damage and loss it caused to you, but I assure that I'm ready to bear all the expense it has created for you." can be split into two sentences.
task achievement
You have clearly addressed all parts of the task, providing a comprehensive response.
tone
The tone of the letter is very appropriate and friendly, which is suitable for writing to a friend.
structure
The letter is well-organized with clear paragraphs that each address a specific point.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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