The diagram shows a method of shaping glass containers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram above features the detailed steps by which
glass
containers are shaped. Looking from an overall
perspective, it is apparent that there are 3 main stages of producing this
product, beginning with burning the sand, followed by working on the glass
and finally
packing or putting the broken glass
in waste bins
This
process begins by placing sand into the furnace, which is heated to 105 degrees, this
way sand changes into glass
. This
is followed by putting that hot glass
into the first mould, they press on the glass
shaping it with pressure. In the next stage
they put that Add a comma
stage,
glass
into the second mould which has thicker walls. It allows air to come in, the air makes our glass
more round. After that
we put Add a comma
that,
glass
into Correct article usage
the glass
kiln
heated to 482 degrees so it Correct article usage
a kiln
can
acquire the right shape. Wrong verb form
could
This
is followed by drying the glass
in the same device for 60 minutes at 25 degrees. Finally
the product is taken by an employee Add a comma
Finally,
where
Correct word choice
who
he
cleans it, and Correct pronoun usage
apply
then
decides whether to send it further
,
or Remove the comma
apply
if
to throw it away because it was damagedCorrect word choice
apply
Submitted by bandrowskaagnieszka1 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words glass with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼