The diagram shows a method of shaping glass containers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows a method of shaping glass containers.

 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram above features the detailed steps by which
glass
containers are shaped. Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is apparent that there are 3 main stages of producing
this
product, beginning with burning the sand, followed by working on the
glass
and
finally
packing or putting the broken
glass
in waste bins
This
process begins by placing sand into the furnace, which is heated to 105 degrees,
this
way sand changes into
glass
.
This
is followed by putting that hot
glass
into the first mould, they press on the
glass
shaping it with pressure. In the next
stage
Add a comma
stage,
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they put that
glass
into the second mould which has thicker walls. It allows air to come in, the air makes our
glass
more round. After
that
Add a comma
that,
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we put
glass
Correct article usage
the glass
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into
kiln
Correct article usage
a kiln
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heated to 482 degrees so it
can
Wrong verb form
could
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acquire the right shape.
This
is followed by drying the
glass
in the same device for 60 minutes at 25 degrees.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
the product is taken by an employee
where
Correct word choice
who
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he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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cleans it, and
then
decides whether to send it
further
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to throw it away because it was damaged
Submitted by bandrowskaagnieszka1 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words glass with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Container
  • Melting furnace
  • Molten glass
  • Gob
  • Conveyor belt
  • Mold
  • Cooling
  • Annealing
  • Finishing touches
  • Quality inspection
  • Packaging
  • Distribution
  • Automated
  • Environmental impact
  • Temperature control
  • Glassware
  • Manufacturing process
  • Perfection
  • Impurities
  • Recycling
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