IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You are working in a school. Write a letter to the Principal to recommend your friend for the position of sports teacher in your school. In your letter – say how long you have known him/her – describe his/her qualifications – explain why you think he/she would be suitable for the job.

#school #friend #position #sports #teacher #qualifications #job
Dear Sir, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I am writing
this
 letter to
make
Verb problem
give
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 you some suggestions about choosing a sports
tecaher
Correct your spelling
teacher
 for our school. I have a very good friend of
mine
Correct pronoun usage
my
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 age, and It has been eight years since we
are
Wrong verb form
have been
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 together. Not only
this
, we both have finished our
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 same school,
only
Add an article
the only
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 difference is she was in a sports department.
Also
, I know her behaviour very well as she is very hardworking, dedicated and supportive in nature. She had completed her
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
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a
Change the article
an
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 Oxford school where she enrolled in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 gaming sector
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and
also
Add a missing verb
was also
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 trained by well-experienced teachers. Not only
this
,
Correct word choice
but at
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at
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during
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 her college time, she participated in a number of internships and
workplacements
Correct your spelling
work placements
work placement
 of games.
Therefore
, she is not only experienced but
also
 she has gained good communication skills
while
 working with different nature of people which can be a major advantage for children. Recently, she
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 in London where she
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 a sports teacher
from
Change preposition
for
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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 couple of years, and I have
also
 read reviews about her behaviour
for
Change preposition
towards
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 children which are all positive,
therefore
, I think children will not encounter any
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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.
Lastly
, I would like to let you know next week, she is coming back to Canada, I would really appreciate your response for her hiring. I look forward to your prompt response. Thank you in advance. Yours Sincerely, Amanjot Kaur.
Submitted by amanjotkaur0303 on

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task achievement
Make sure to double-check for minor grammatical mistakes and improve clarity in some sentences.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain consistency in pronoun usage and ensure that the letter flows smoothly from one idea to the next.
task achievement
The letter effectively introduces the friend and provides a strong recommendation by highlighting her qualifications and experience.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a clear structure with appropriate greetings and closings. Each key point is addressed in separate paragraphs.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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