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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
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The two pie charts compare the proportion of
time
Use synonyms
 spent by working adults on six different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the majority of
time
Use synonyms
 was dedicated to working and sleeping in both years, the least amount of
time
Use synonyms
 was spent on travel to work. Notably, the
time
Use synonyms
 allocated for sleeping and going out with friends or family decreased over the period. In 1958, the largest proportion of
time
Use synonyms
 was spent on working and sleeping, each accounting for roughly one-third of the total
time
Use synonyms
 (33% and 32%, respectively).
Time
Use synonyms
 spent
on
Change preposition
apply
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relaxing at home and pursuing other interests
such
Linking Words
 as sports was approximately equal, at 8% and 6% respectively. Socializing with friends and family took up 19% of the
time
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
least
Correct your spelling
last
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time
Use synonyms
, 2%, was spent on travel to work. By 2008, the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 spent working had increased by nearly 10%, rising to 42%. Meanwhile, the
time
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 spent sleeping decreased by 7%, down to 25%.
Time
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 spent relaxing at home increased slightly to 13%. Socializing with friends and family saw a significant reduction, dropping by 13% to 6%, the lowest proportion in 2008.
Time
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 spent on travel to work increased to 8%, matching the
time
Use synonyms
 allocated to other interests and sports.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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