The graph shows the rates of participation in three different activities in a UK sports club between 1995 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the rates of participation in three different activities in a UK sports club between 1995 and 2015.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph provides information regarding the proportion of
participation
in (swimming, team
sports
, and gym activities) in the UK
sports
clubs, over the course of 20 years, from 1995 to 2015. In the y-axis between zero to 60%.
overall
, swimming had the most
participation
in
year
period
1995 with 50% and
then
started to fall down till
year
period
2010 with 10%
participation
and remained stable between 2011 to 2015,
Furthermore
, team
sports
remained steady from 1995 to 2005 with 30%
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
participation
then
it climbed and reached 40% in 2010 drop down again to be 30% in 2015
year
period
,
In addition
, gym activities had 5% in 1995
year
period
,
Therefore
, it start to grow up to 20% in 2010 and remain steady from 2011 to 2015.
In addition
, we see team
sports
are the most participated in 2015, Therefor, swimming was the least participated activity in
2015
Change the article
the 2015
show examples
year
period
.
Submitted by aziz1dakhil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words participation, sports, year, period with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: