IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Your department needs you to work overtime on the weekend (Saturday and Sunday) Write an email to the Department Manager: Explaining why you can not work overtime on the weekend Asking for working from home and how you are able to handle that Stating what tools you need for your working from home Try to write a minimum of 50 words.

#department #work #overtime #weekend #saturday #sunday #email #manager #home #tools
Dear Mr DM, My name is Hiep Pham (hiepph). I heard that our department needs me to work OT
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 weekend. From the first day I work in here, I always accept
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any Project's order. But as you know, my son who was born in April
this
 year has to take an important Vaccine. My wife is on
business
Add an article
a business
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 trip
at
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to
show examples
 Korea. That's why I wrote
this
 email to request
for working
Change preposition
to work
show examples
 from home. I can check my task
while
 looking at my son.
Otherwise
 if needed I can show
facetime
Capitalize word
Facetime
show examples
 whenever
Correct article usage
the Team's
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Team's
Correct your spelling
Team is
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 meeting at
this
 time.
I'm
Correct your spelling
I'd
show examples
 really
appriciate
Correct your spelling
appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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 you
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 do me a
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
. Can I borrow your microphone which
on
Add a missing verb
is on
show examples
 your front desk
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 That helps me a lot
while
 mine was broken before. Wishing you good health and looking forward to your response Best regard Hiep
Submitted by ieltsmeister.academic on

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coherence cohesion
The structure of your email could be slightly improved by adding a clearer introduction and conclusion. For example, start by clearly stating the purpose of your email in the first sentence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you use correct grammar and spelling throughout your writing. For example, 'appreciate' should be 'appreciate,' and 'Best regard' should be 'Best regards.'
task achievement
Be more explicit about how you can handle your tasks from home. Clearly state your action plan and how you will ensure productivity and communication with the team.
task achievement
You provided detailed reasons for not being able to work overtime this weekend, which makes your request clear and reasonable.
coherence cohesion
Your email is generally well-organized and covers all the necessary points such as the reason for not working overtime, the request to work from home, and the tools you need.
task achievement
You used specific examples like the need for your son's vaccination and your wife being on a business trip to support your request, which adds credibility and context to your email.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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