Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweight the disadvantage?
Several individuals, driven by the notion of success, are enticed to study and work abroad
due to
its favorable
outcomes. Albeit many Change the spelling
favourable
people
argue that the family should be the top priority, and, therefore
, should be chosen first,
the proponents of the concept of moving abroad underscore its benefits. This
essay explores the reasons why some people
underline the downsides of working abroad,
and advocates for the rationales for its positive outcomes.
On the one hand, several developed nations provide a huge platform for higher studies and jobs. Remove the comma
apply
In other words
, not only do individuals are able to study in renowned educational institutes, but also
are able to improve their career prospects. For instance
, students and workers who travel to the
regions, well-known for their first-class education and job enterprises, not only do they secure better work positions in famous firms, but Correct article usage
apply
also
live a better quality of life. Hence
, it is evident that seeking opporunities
in other nations improves future projections of life. Correct your spelling
opportunities
Furthermore
, people
who work remotely experience globalisation. To clarify, since multicultural societies are ubiquitous in the
developed countries, Correct article usage
apply
indivauals
who live here temporarily, are exposed to the Correct your spelling
individuals
diveristy
of Correct your spelling
diversity
people
at the workplace, which, despite of
all the differences, instils Change preposition
apply
the
sense of collaboration in them. To cite an example, students in many Correct article usage
a
countires
learn to conform and adhere to the rules of respecting Correct your spelling
countries
people
belonging from
various cultural backgrounds, which plays a major role in cultivating their persona. Change preposition
to
Therefore
, in order to broaden the horizons of earning, it is imperative to interact with variety
of Add an article
a variety
people
and inculcate their values.
On the other hand
, moving away from the motherland also
implies to
distancing from culture and religion. To elaborate on Change preposition
apply
this
, many people
either abandon their culture,
or cannot participate in their traditional festivals. Remove the comma
apply
For example
, owing to high travel cost
and packed Fix the agreement mistake
costs
schedule
, many workers and students cannot visit their families and friends on Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
occasions
, which, inarguably, has repercussions on the emotional state of the individuals and their families. In Fix the agreement mistake
occasion
this
manner, it is obvious that people
residing in other places do
miss many festivities and merriments.
In conclusion, despite the enhanced Unnecessary verb
apply
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
opportunites
offered by numerous countries, one of the pitfalls of being outside the home country is that there is a high chance of forgetting cultural norms. Notwithstanding, the benefits of enrollment in Correct your spelling
opportunities
such
nations always outweigh its drawbacks when it comes to improving standards of living and earning high compensation.Submitted by hadia.iftikhar126 on
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clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are generally clear, but there are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. For example, in the sentence 'Not only do individuals are able to study...', remove 'do', so it reads 'Not only are individuals able to study...'.
logical structure
Some sentences are quite complex and could be simplified for better readability. For instance, 'Hence, it is evident that seeking opportunities in other nations improves future projections of life' could be simplified to 'Hence, seeking opportunities in other countries improves future life prospects.'
supported main points
Though your arguments are well-supported, using a wider range of transition words would make your essay flow more smoothly. Words such as 'moreover', 'consequently', and 'therefore' can help link your ideas better.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction does a good job setting the stage for the discussion, and your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
relevant specific examples
You have included relevant examples to support your main points, which adds to the credibility of your arguments.
complete response
Your essay provides a well-rounded discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of moving away for work, showing a balanced view on the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?