Task 1: The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

#show #proportions #british #students #university #england #languages #addition #english

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The pie charts illustrate the distribution of British

students

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capable of speaking in languages other than

English

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, studying at a university in England in 2000 and 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is evident that

while

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the rate of those who spoke only Spanish

besides

Linking Words

English

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went up, the same figures for

students

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speaking either only German or only French

along with

Linking Words

English

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Remove the comma

apply

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declined. The rate of

students

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speaking Spanish

in addition

Linking Words

English

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saw an increment, surging from 30% in 2000 to 35% in 2010, making it the highest

proportion

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Moreover

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, the figure for those who had picked up French

Remove the comma

apply

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rose slightly from 15% to 20% in 2000 and 2010 respectively.

Similarly

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, individuals with other languages

also

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grew by 5%, making up a quarter of the whole population in 2010. In comparison, the

proportion

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students

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who knew German stood unchanged at 10% in both years.

Furthermore

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, those who were not capable of speaking any other language than

English

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

contributed to 20% of the

students

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in 2000.

However

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, their

proportion

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halved in 2010.

Lastly

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, the bilingual

students

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proportion

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accounted for 10% in 2000 and 15% in 2010.

Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on Sat Jul 06 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words students, english, proportion with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

185 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

proportions
British students
university
speaking other languages
language proficiency
overall trends
comparison
2000
2010
chart
data
percentage
significant
increase
decrease
noteworthy
comparative analysis
improvement
decline
conclusion

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Task 1: The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

discuss the both sides of the culture shock that people can encounter this situation

You live in a rental flat.A few problems emerged since the last repair. Wrote a letter to your landlord. In your letter --what are the problems --give details of the last repair. --how you would like the landlord to solve current problems

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the population of old people is increasing. Are there more advantages and disadvantages?