Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language, because some students don't have a natural ability for languages. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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Considering today's life in a perpetual hurry, a vast array of youngsters are poisoned to
incquire
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inquire
into foreign languages by schools in a
sence
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sense
of hitching their wagon to a star.
Subsequently
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, I firmly believe that it can entail severe repercussions for those who
dont
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don't
have
certain
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a certain
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tendency to scrutinize languages,
such
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as losing a desire to study at all in conjunction with making decisions
for
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on
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their own which is
adversely
Replace the adverb
adverse
show examples
. As far as the desire to study is concerned, it is a cornerstone of
educational
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the educational
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process nowadays.
Whereas
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the current agenda of
tremendous
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a tremendous
the tremendous
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quantity of educational facilities, forcing people to
strudy
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study
is encountered an inferior outcome, not going against
children
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's will and
let
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
them test the waters
first,
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leading to an auspicious path.
For instance
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, the chief component here is to comprehend
child's
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the child's
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intention. If the child has not found learning
langiages
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languages
appealing
thus
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their not going to master it in terms of zero interest. Another coherent virtue of not enforcing is letting
children
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make their own decisions about it.
Hence
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,
children
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will not blame their parents
upon
Change preposition
for
show examples
that decision because they did it. The alluring sample of it is me. As regards my childhood,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
also
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was forced to study things
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
was not into
however
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after
family
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a family
the family
show examples
gathering they decided not to go against my will and let me space for independence which is so crucial for upbringing generation. To recap the aforementioned, I profoundly give credence to not insisting and putting
children
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under
the
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apply
show examples
presure
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pressure
in
sense
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the sense
show examples
of
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that
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they will not
accoplish
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accomplish
their objectives etc. Correspondingly, schools, parents and
a
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the
show examples
closest circle are needed to be more
lanient
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lenient
in relation to
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kirkagoglesmail on

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task achievement
Your essay generally responds to the prompt well. However, make sure your arguments are more explicitly linked to the prompt statement. Clarify how your points directly support whether or not schools should force children to learn a foreign language. For instance, explicitly linking your personal example back to the thesis can strengthen the essay.
coherence cohesion
To increase coherence and cohesion, ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking words and phrases to strengthen the logical flow. For example, words like 'Therefore,' 'Additionally,' and 'As a result,' can help your essay flow better.
task achievement
The examples provided, especially the personal one, add a touch of authenticity to the essay. This makes your arguments more relatable and impactful.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which is essential for overall structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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