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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about energy consumption in the USA since 1980, with projections until 2030. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant. Image: ielts-task-1-us-energy-consumption-line-graph

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about energy consumption in the USA since 1980, with projections until 2030. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant. Image: ielts-task-1-us-energy-consumption-line-graph
#information #report #energy #consumption #usa #projections #summarise #features #comparisons #image #ielts-task-1-us-energy-consumption-line-graph
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The line graph compares the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
data collected from the report in 2008 regarding energy utilisation in the USA since 1980
along with
 its projection till 2023.
Overall
 ,we can see that petrol and oil
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
used in the highest numbers in the beginning
as well as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
continue to grow till its future predictions.Coal and gas
on the other hand
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in the average use,
however
, nuclear,solar/wind and
hydrolic
Correct your spelling
hydraulic
hydraulics
,all showed
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
units
 in the whole period given.
Look
Wrong verb form
Looking
show examples
 in detail, it shows that petrol and coal
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 in highest
units
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 35 in 1980,
this
 figure saw some
fluctutaions
Correct your spelling
fluctuations
fluctuation
 till 1995,after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it grew and will reach its peak in 2023
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will be around more than 45nimts.Coal and gas
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 only 20 and 15
units
 approx respectively and both saw fluctuations till 2015,
then
 natural gas showed
plateau
Correct article usage
a plateau
show examples
 and coal use will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increase till 2023 and will reach approx
till
Correct your spelling
25
 25units approx.
On the other hand
,nuclear ,solar /wind,
Correct word choice
and hydrolic
show examples
hydrolic
Correct your spelling
hydraulic
 sources were in less in
units
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning that was less than 5
units
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 remained less in
units
 throughout the period including its predicted period.
Submitted by iqbal.kamran on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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