IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Your electricity department is conducting survey to know public opinion, if department should introduce prepaid cards. The city has sent out an opinion survey to see what residents think about it. Electric bills survey: Option A: City should introduce prepaid cards. Option B: City should continue with existing billing system 150-200 words

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In my opinion, the city should continue with the current approach of payment which is the physical billing system. There are two primary reasons for it: accessibility and lack of knowledge.
Firstly
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, in
this
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 era of digitalisation where everyone prefers the digital method of payments, there are certain groups of people like elderly persons who still face challenges
due to
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 a lack of technology knowledge.
Hence
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, they will forced to take other's help to do it for them.
Secondly
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, the existing billing system benefits
a
Correct article usage
apply
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large groups of the population which is dependent on cash transactions as it allows them to pay the bills at their convenience in cash.
Lastly
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, I would suggest the concerned department continue with the existing billing system as it is more accessible and offers ease of use.
However
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, a prepaid card can be introduced as an optional method for those who want to prefer a digital form of payment as it
also
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 saves a lot of time and effort.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, mention a scenario where elderly people might struggle with prepaid cards.
task achievement
Work on expanding and clarifying your ideas. For example, elaborate on why cash transactions are preferred or provide more detail on the challenges elderly people face with digital payments.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the clarity of your writing by breaking down complex sentences and ensuring each sentence conveys one clear idea.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your opinion and provided reasons for your position, which shows a good understanding and engagement with the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow your argument effectively.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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