IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend no more than 20 minutes on this task. This line graph shows the percentage of women who were employed in four countries from 1985 to 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

You should spend no more than 20 minutes on this task. This line graph shows the percentage of women who were employed in four countries from 1985 to 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.
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The line chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of female employees in the USA, Korea, Afghanistan and France between 1985 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the percentage of women who were employed increased in all countries, with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 notable exception of Afghanistan, where
this
Linking Words
 value decreased over time. In 1985, the USA and France stood at about 45% and 40% respectively. After that, France experienced a significant drop in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 5 years, by having three in ten women workers.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 steadily rose until the end of the period and made
one-half
Change preposition
up one-half
show examples
 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 employees. During the period from 1985 to 2005, America had six in ten lady members of the workplace, despite the past growth to
peak
Add an article
a peak
show examples
 of 65
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2000. Regarding other countries, the
number
Use synonyms
 of Afghan female workers dramatically fell to nearly zero in 2005, after
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
 climb from 1985 to 1995.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 percentage moderately rose by 15% in Korea with some fluctuations,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outnumbering Afghanistan as the third country with the most
number
Use synonyms
 of non-male members of staff.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage of women employed
  • employment trends
  • notable changes
  • significant increases and decreases
  • periods of stability
  • specific years and percentages
  • overall trend
  • compare and contrast
  • similarities and differences
  • throughout the period
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