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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table shows the proportion of income spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the proportion of income spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The supplied table indicates the percentage of
expenditure
Use synonyms
 of wages on four various options by both adults and children in the United Kingdom in 1998. A glance at the graph reveals that the highest amount of salary
expenditure
Use synonyms
 was
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
music
Use synonyms
 which was spent by girls.
However
Linking Words
,women did not prefer to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on
videos
Use synonyms
,which was the lowest measure of
income
Use synonyms
 spending over the period. In 1998,%40 of
income
Use synonyms
 was spent on
music
Use synonyms
 with girls(which was the highest amount of
money
Use synonyms
spending
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
 over the whole year),compared to
videos
Use synonyms
 at %17 of
expenditure
Use synonyms
 in 1998.
Moreover
Linking Words
,spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
music
Use synonyms
 by children was as popular as wasting
income
Use synonyms
 on food with women at %39 in 1998.
In addition
Linking Words
,boys chose to
consume
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 their wages
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 listening to
music
Use synonyms
 at %38,just ahead of
money
Use synonyms
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on
videos
Use synonyms
 and equipment at %18 in 1998.
In contrast
Linking Words
,adults did not prefer to spend
income
Use synonyms
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronic equipment and
videos
Use synonyms
 at %5 and %1
expenditure
Use synonyms
 in 1998,respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
,just 0.5% of women decided to spend wages on
videos
Use synonyms
 in 1998.(Which was the lowest proportion of
money
Use synonyms
wasting
Wrong verb form
wasted
show examples
 over the period).
Additionally
Linking Words
,%5 of salary was spent on
music
Use synonyms
 by men,as opposed to
videos
Use synonyms
 at %2 of
income
Use synonyms
expenditure
Use synonyms
 in 1998.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure, music, money, videos, income with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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