The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the information bt selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
In the olden days, people used to die early because of improper treatments and lack of medicines. In the digital
age
, people’s Use synonyms
age
has Use synonyms
been
increased with the inventions of the latest health and technical systems. Unnecessary verb
apply
While
many people believe that seniors have a burden on the Governments, others say that these bring more benefits to the nation Linking Words
such
as providing training to youngsters and looking after their grandchildren. Linking Words
This
essay will discuss why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Linking Words
Firstly
, the main reason is that in the commercial sector, they already contributed during their employment period and have more technical skills as compared to the younger generation. The companies may utilize their skills and experiences, to hire them for motivation and training. Another reason is that they can fill the labour shortage gaps. Some countries are suffering from a labour shortage and elder technicians are the best option to hire them. Linking Words
For example
, in Japan, many seniors are still working and contributing to Japan’s economy, which is why Japan is very powerful in the world.
Linking Words
Secondly
, after retiring from their jobs , ex-employees look after their grandchildren and save heaps of money Linking Words
instead
of sending them to childcare centres. Another factor is that family heads have more practical experiences than other members, so they can provide guidance for any upcoming property deals and family issues. Linking Words
For example
, if a child chooses any wrong business, the parents give them the right direction to choose a business or job.
Linking Words
In contrast
, it is true that retirees have a burden on the health care system to keep them in hospitals and Linking Words
age
care centres which requires a lot of money. Use synonyms
In addition
, if they are at home somebody must be looking after them so one person wastes his time looking after them and in a competition period.
In conclusion, following the analysis, Linking Words
it is clear that
only a few reasons, the disadvantages cannot outweigh on advantages. So these people already played important roles in their lives, Linking Words
while
they were younger and it is going to happen in everyone’s life. So we cannot neglect them from their Linking Words
age
factor. Use synonyms
Further
, it is predicted that in the future family members and the Authorities cannot ignore them from the mainstream and Linking Words
this
development is going to continue in the future as well.Linking Words
Submitted by rbtech65 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "for example, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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