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Writing Samples /
Band 4

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. » You should write at least 150 words.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. » You should write at least 150 words.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #percentage #greenhouse #gas #emissions #summarise #information #features #comparisons
So, the highest
percenatge
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of household energy used in
Australia
 is 24% which is from Other appliances, the second one is Water heating which has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
23%,
then
 Heating and cooling
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
20%, Refrigeration
12
Change preposition
at 12
show examples
%, Lighting
11
Change preposition
at 11
show examples
% and Stand by which has the same
percentage
 as Cooking with a 5% in
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of household energy used in
Australia
.
However
, the
percentage
 of greenhouse gas produced in
Australia
 has a different order starting with the highest
percentage
 which is Heating and cooking
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
38%, the next one is Water heating
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
25%, after that there is Other appliances
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
16%, next one is which has the same
percentage
 between Refrigeration and Lighting with a 7%,
then
 there is Cooking with a 4% and
lastly
, there is Stand by with a 3%.
This
 is the result in
percentage
Add an article
a percentage
the percentage
show examples
 of household energy used in
Australia
 and
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of greenhouse gas produced in
Australia
.
Submitted by kelly on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
▼

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