IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

"You recently had a problem with a product you bought from a store. Write a letter to the store manager to explain the issue. In your letter, you should: 1.Describe the problem with the product. 2.Explain how you would like the problem to be resolved. 3.Request a response from the manager."

#product #store #manager #request
Dear Mr. Smith I am writing
this
 letter to inform you about the issue, I am facing
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the mixer grinder bought from your store yesterday. A weird sound can be heard when using it for grinding
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
. I would appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you could send an engineer to check the problem and if in case the problem
persist
Change the verb form
persists
show examples
, kindly change the machine with the new one. I can visit the store if there
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 a requirement. Your prompt action will be
appreciable
Replace the word
appreciated
show examples
. Thank you Yours sincerely, Bindiya Gupta
Submitted by bindiya.gupta01 on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, you could give more details about the problem, such as when exactly the weird sound occurs and whether it affects the functionality of the mixer grinder beyond just making a noise.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, you might structure the letter more clearly by separating the problem description, resolution request, and call for response into more distinct paragraphs.
suitable writing tone
The letter is polite and maintains a respectful tone throughout, which is suitable for this type of communication.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are appropriately used, contributing to the formality of the letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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