IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#aim #science #people’s #lives
The primary goal of
science
 should be to enhance the quality of people's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. I agree with
this
 statement since there are several problems
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be solved by conducting
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
scientific
research
,
such
 as environmental damage and medical issues. The main goal of
science
 is to solve the environmental problems.
Research
 and developments done by scientists around the world have provided solutions to tackle several issues,
such
 as climate crisis or biodiversity loss. To illustrate, the results of
research
 in plants led to a rising trend of aeroponic farming in cities' skyscrapers
contributed
Wrong verb form
contributing
show examples
 to a new way of food-producing
technoques
Correct your spelling
techniques
 which are very useful for societies. Another outstanding example
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is the increasing population of pandas, which once categorized as a nearly endangered species, after being treated well in their conservations around the world, thanks to the
research
 on animals. The other significant benefit of
science
 is the invention of medicines or vitamins to cure several illnesses. Scientists
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 conducted
research
 to heal deadly diseases and various
threat
Fix the agreement mistake
threats
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 human health.
In other words
,
science
 has contributed to the development of medical practices which is very crucial in improving one's health condition or even to lengthening one's life expectancy.
For example
, the discovery of
covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
 vaccination in 2021 was a turning point in terms of facing the outbreaks.
As a result
,
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 of mankind survived
such
 pandemics and could go back to normal lives. In conclusion, I tend to agree that the main purpose of
science
 is to enhance the quality of
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 life. Tackling problems related to environmental issues and leading innovations in healthcare industries showed an essential contribution of
science
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
several aspects of our lives.
Submitted by michellyonggo on

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Grammar
Ensure all sentences are grammatically correct and review verb tenses for accuracy. This can enhance clarity and precision in your writing.
Vocabulary
Adding more varied vocabulary can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Structure
The essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure by presenting a well-organized argument with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Support
The main points are supported with relevant examples that strengthen the argument, such as the benefits of scientific research in environmental preservation and medical advancements.
Relevance
The essay stays on topic and addresses the question effectively, making a compelling case for why the primary aim of science should be to improve people's lives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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