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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given graph compares data on the spending on various
sort
Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
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 among changed
age
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 teams of
inhabitant
Fix the agreement mistake
inhabitants
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 in the UK in 2004. As can be seen from the chart, there were distinct preferences in
expenditure
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 patterns among different
age
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groups
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. Especially the
speding
Correct your spelling
spending
 on food and drink increased with
over
Correct pronoun usage
those over
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 76
age
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groups
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 expenses
on
Change preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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entertainment
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 decreased as people got older.
Expenditure
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 on restaurants and hotels peaked in the 31 – 45
age
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group
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 and decreased significantly in older
age
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groups
Use synonyms
. Starting from a low of 6% for the under 30
age
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group
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,
expenditure
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 on food and drink increased steadily with
age
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, around 11% for those aged 31 -45 and
further
Linking Words
 rising to 17% for 46 – 60
age
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. The 61-75
age
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group
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 allocated roughly 20% of their total spending to food and drink. The
produces
Replace the word
producers
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 of restaurant and hotel expenditures, the 31-45
age
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group
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 led with around
to
Change preposition
apply
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13%. The
under 30
Add a hyphen
under-30
show examples
Use synonyms
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
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also
Linking Words
 spent significantly, around 12%.
However
Linking Words
, spending in
this
Linking Words
 category decreased for older
age
Use synonyms
groups
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, with the 46-60
age
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group
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 spending about 12%, the 61-75
age
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group
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 about 2%, and the oldest
group
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 approximately 7%.
Expenditure
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 on
entertainment
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 exhibits a distinct trend. The
under 30
Add a hyphen
under-30
show examples
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 allocates about 7% of their total spending to
entertainment
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, decreasing to around 5% for the 31-45
age
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group
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there is a notable increase in
entertainment
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 spending among the 46-60
age
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group
Use synonyms
, reaching approximately 14%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, expenditure, groups, entertainment, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Expenditure
  • Categories
  • Age groups
  • Residents
  • Summarize
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Trends
  • Patterns
  • Spending habits
  • Life stages
  • Childcare costs
  • Healthcare costs
  • Outliers
  • Economic factors
  • Social factors
  • Cultural factors
  • Leisure activities
  • Financial outlays
  • Demographics
  • Percentage
  • Allocation of funds
  • Consumption
  • Discretionary spending
  • Essential expenses
  • Generational differences
  • Income bracket
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