IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The data below shows information relating to companies holding bank accounts in the British Virgin Islands. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#data #information #companies #bank #accounts #british #islands #summarise #features #comparisons
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The data illustrates the
number
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 of different
countries
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 that own various facts about businesses that hold money in bank
accounts
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 located in the British Virgin Islands (
BVI
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). An initial analysis reveals that
Switzerland
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 leads the top 5
countries
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the top-rated
countries
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 with banking
accounts
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 on these islands are located in Europe, with
Switzerland
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 owning most of the corporate bodies and assets on account.
Firstly
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, the
number
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 of companies by country is majority owned by Western European and North American states with at least 1000 corporations with
accounts
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 in
BVI
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.
Likewise
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, American
countries
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such
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 as Brazil and Argentina have two disproportionately large values with 8,667 in Brazil and more than 2500 in Argentina. All other regions have mostly less than 1000. In asset values,
Switzerland
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 exhibits the highest
number
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 of corporate bodies with
accounts
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 in the
BVI
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, with 11,253, and France and the UK are in second and third place with 9,187 and 8,844 respectively. Predictably,
Switzerland
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 has the highest asset location with 31 billion dollars, but significantly, Venezuela Has 14,8 billion dollars, the third-highest
overall
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, with no data on the
number
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 of companies with banking interests in the
BVI
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.
Submitted by kahenahoffmann on

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introduction conclusion
Ensure that the introduction provides a clear overview of what will be discussed in the essay. Consider rephrasing for clarity.
introduction conclusion
Improve the essay's conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed and providing a coherent ending.
supported main points
Ensure all main points are well-supported with specific data from the provided information. More data can be included to support points made about European countries.
logical structure
Organize information logically by ensuring a smoother transition between different aspects discussed in the essay, such as between the number of companies and asset values.
clear comprehensive ideas
Be careful with some vague sentences. Strive for clarity in expressing which countries exhibit high values and why that might be significant.
complete response
The essay covers the task's requirements by summarizing key points.
relevant specific examples
Good use of specific examples to illustrate the points made about the different countries and their BVI bank accounts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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