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Band 5.5

The supplied pie charts above represents the data collected in 1980 and 2000, about units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France.

The supplied pie charts above represents the data collected in 1980 and 2000, about units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France.
#data #units #electricity #production #fuel #source #australia #france
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These pie charts depict the changes in the main sources of
the
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electricity manufacturing in 1980 and 2000 in Australia and France.
In
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At
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 first sight, we can say two
essensial
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essential
 things: the first - it was a significant
expanding
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expansion
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 of
the
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electricity
produsing
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production
, and the second - there
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 several great changes in the main
manufactoring sourses
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manufacturing sources
. At the beginning, I want to
preparate
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prepare
 the 1980 year pie. There were produced 100 units of
the
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electricity. The main
resourse
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source
 of production was
the
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Coal 50%
,
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 after
it
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the second place is
diveded
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divided
 through
the
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Natural Gas - 20%, and
the
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Hydro Power, either with 20 %. And in the
last
 place is an oil with 10%. In continuation, I'll switch to the second pie. We can see the rapid
increas
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increase
of
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in
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the
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production - up to 170 units.
Moreover
, there were
a
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crusial
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crucial
 changes in the use of
the
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Natural Gas (
falled
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fell
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 down from 20% to 2%), the Oil -
rised
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raised
rose
risen
 from 10% to 2%, and
finally
 - the growth of
use
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the use
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 of
the
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Hydro Power from 20% to 36% and the Coal from 50% to 60%.
Submitted by anastasia on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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