Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are some
countires
where more than 50 Correct your spelling
countries
percent
of their workforce is filled by Change the spelling
per cent
women
. However
, the higher position at companies does not reflected
the same percentage. I believe that special Change the verb form
reflect
quaotas
should be an option to create Correct your spelling
quotas
quotes
gender
equality inside oldest
Add an article
an oldest
the oldest
business
or Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
predominant
male industries.
These days is more clear how systemic discrimination works. Not long ago Change the word
predominantly
women
were seen as less than men. It has been a long fight for Women
Change noun form
Women's
rigths
, Correct your spelling
rights
wich
Correct your spelling
which
are
relatively new to Change the verb form
is
society
. Add an article
the society
That is
why, It is neccesary
to Correct your spelling
necessary
promotes
Change the verb
promote
gender
equality and destroy sexiest
ideas about Correct article usage
the sexiest
gender
roles. The oldest companies may struggle with these ideas of gender
, inclusion and diversity. So it is important to provided
a Change the verb
provide
safety
environment for all despite their Replace the word
safe
gender
. Practical solutions such
as quotas
that allow women
to be on
top Change preposition
in
possitions
need to be created.
Correct your spelling
positions
However
, it is neccesary
to be Correct your spelling
necessary
carefull
with these allocations. Correct your spelling
careful
Women
and men need to have a fair competition. Merit must be part of the decision making specially
in Replace the word
especially
possitions
with higher Correct your spelling
positions
responsability
. Correct your spelling
responsibility
Otherwise
, this
preference will lead to resentment among men creating a problematic work environment. Additionally
, this
Correct determiner usage
these
quotas
should be create
like a transit Change the verb form
be created
excersice
. It is required to Correct your spelling
exercise
created
Change the verb
create
a
selection criteria based on skills that will replace the Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
quotas
once gender
systematic discrimation
is Correct your spelling
discrimination
erradicated
.
Correct your spelling
eradicated
To conclude
, I believe that have
Wrong verb form
having
quotas
inside some companies will help to finish with gender
discrimination. However
, there are some drawbacks such
as,
possible tokenism where the positions will be Remove the comma
apply
field
not for merit. So, it is important to use Replace the word
fielded
this
as a temporal system. The goal is created
a criteria system free of Change the verb form
to create
gender
discrimination and focus in
merits.Change preposition
on
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coherence cohesion
Work on logical structure to ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. It seems like there's a jump between the idea of historical discrimination and the practical implementation of quotas.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are both present, which is good. However, make sure the conclusion clearly summarizes the main points raised in the essay.
task achievement
Your main points are generally supported, but there could be more concrete examples. For instance, you could mention specific companies or countries where quotas have been implemented successfully.
task achievement
You have a clear response to the task and have addressed both sides of the argument to some extent. However, expanding on the negative aspects of quotas with more specific examples could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You did well to address the complicated issue of gender quotas in the workplace and provided a balanced viewpoint, considering both the advantages and potential drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
Good job including an introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay and provide a sense of completeness.