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Band 4.5

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on the society?

#students #science #subjects #university #countries #effects #society
Recently,
science
 is not
Add an article
the
a
show examples
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
subject
 for many
students
 in numerous
countries
.
This
 essay will discuss some causes
why
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of why
show examples
this
 has occurred and
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the consequences for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. The main cause of
this
 is that
science
 is a difficult
subject
. Some
students
 who take (taking)
science
 as a
subject
make testimony
Wrong verb form
testify
show examples
 that it takes a
lot
 of hard effort to get through it.
Others
also
 can see that
science
students
 have a
lot
 of activities in the laboratory,
such
 as doing a
lot
 of
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
show examples
 constantly.
Therefore
 they look so busy and serious.
On the other hand
,
students
 taking
science
 are usually
labeled
Change the spelling
labelled
show examples
 as genius
students
as well as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stiff
students
 .
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
those
Correct determiner usage
this
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will lead to less interest
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 young people
to take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
 as a major.
Others
 think that they might not go through the
subject
 because they do not have enough cleverness,
while
others
 think that
laboratory
Correct article usage
the laboratory
show examples
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a tense place. The effects of
this
 will be serious
on
Change preposition
for
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 each country .
Science
 plays
vital
Correct article usage
a vital
show examples
 in
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
show examples
 lives of society. Imagine certain
countries
 have advanced farming technology, medicines, edible food and a
lot
 of needs in society
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
 and
finding
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
 by
science
, Before it is ready for use , it will be tested with scientific methods. When the number of
subject
 enthusiasts decreases,
countries
 will lose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientist candidates in the future.
Further
, all sectors which need scientific research and development will
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 stagnancy . The
countries
 will face
slow
Correct article usage
a slow
show examples
 development era and will find it hard to solve scientific problems.
Thus
, It will make the
countries
 rely on
others
 in many sectors. To
sump
Correct your spelling
sum
show examples
 up, it is evident that there are several causes of
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
students
 choosing
science
 subjects and some effects following. Multi-party must ensure steps to prevent
this
 problem from
further
 enhancement .
Submitted by k a l l a on

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accuracy
Revise for grammatical accuracy, such as subject-verb agreement and appropriate tense usage. E.g., 'make testimony' should be 'testify' and 'activities' should be 'activity.'
relevance
Expand on specific examples to illustrate points more clearly. For instance, mention specific scientific advancements or countries that have faced stagnation.
lexical resource
Improve lexical resource by avoiding repetition. For example, the word 'science' is overused.
structure
Clear structure with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs is present, which aids coherence.
task completion
Attempts to broadly cover reasons and effects of the issue meet the task requirements well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deter
  • promotion
  • opportunities
  • role models
  • lucrative
  • employment
  • gender stereotypes
  • societal norms
  • access to information
  • technological stagnation
  • shortage
  • skilled professionals
  • innovation
  • healthcare sector
  • workforce
  • global competitiveness
  • advancements
  • economic growth
  • public health services
  • environmental sciences
  • combat climate change
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