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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on the society?

#students #science #subjects #university #countries #effects #society
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Recently,
science
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 is not
Add an article
the
a
show examples
favorite
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favourite
show examples
subject
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 for many
students
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 in numerous
countries
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.
This
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 essay will discuss some causes
why
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of why
show examples
this
Linking Words
 has occurred and
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the consequences for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. The main cause of
this
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 is that
science
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 is a difficult
subject
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. Some
students
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 who take (taking)
science
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 as a
subject
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make testimony
Wrong verb form
testify
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 that it takes a
lot
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 of hard effort to get through it.
Others
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also
Linking Words
 can see that
science
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students
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 have a
lot
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 of activities in the laboratory,
such
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 as doing a
lot
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 of
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
show examples
 constantly.
Therefore
Linking Words
 they look so busy and serious.
On the other hand
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,
students
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 taking
science
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 are usually
labeled
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labelled
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 as genius
students
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as well as
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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stiff
students
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 .
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However
Add a comma
However,
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those
Correct determiner usage
this
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will lead to less interest
of
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in
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 young people
to take
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taking
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
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 as a major.
Others
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 think that they might not go through the
subject
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 because they do not have enough cleverness,
while
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others
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 think that
laboratory
Correct article usage
the laboratory
show examples
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a tense place. The effects of
this
Linking Words
 will be serious
on
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for
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 each country .
Science
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 plays
vital
Correct article usage
a vital
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 in
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
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 lives of society. Imagine certain
countries
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 have advanced farming technology, medicines, edible food and a
lot
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 of needs in society
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
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 and
finding
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
 by
science
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, Before it is ready for use , it will be tested with scientific methods. When the number of
subject
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 enthusiasts decreases,
countries
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 will lose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientist candidates in the future.
Further
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, all sectors which need scientific research and development will
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 stagnancy . The
countries
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 will face
slow
Correct article usage
a slow
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 development era and will find it hard to solve scientific problems.
Thus
Linking Words
, It will make the
countries
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 rely on
others
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 in many sectors. To
sump
Correct your spelling
sum
show examples
 up, it is evident that there are several causes of
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
students
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 choosing
science
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 subjects and some effects following. Multi-party must ensure steps to prevent
this
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 problem from
further
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 enhancement .
Submitted by k a l l a on

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accuracy
Revise for grammatical accuracy, such as subject-verb agreement and appropriate tense usage. E.g., 'make testimony' should be 'testify' and 'activities' should be 'activity.'
relevance
Expand on specific examples to illustrate points more clearly. For instance, mention specific scientific advancements or countries that have faced stagnation.
lexical resource
Improve lexical resource by avoiding repetition. For example, the word 'science' is overused.
structure
Clear structure with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs is present, which aids coherence.
task completion
Attempts to broadly cover reasons and effects of the issue meet the task requirements well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deter
  • promotion
  • opportunities
  • role models
  • lucrative
  • employment
  • gender stereotypes
  • societal norms
  • access to information
  • technological stagnation
  • shortage
  • skilled professionals
  • innovation
  • healthcare sector
  • workforce
  • global competitiveness
  • advancements
  • economic growth
  • public health services
  • environmental sciences
  • combat climate change
What to do next:
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