Some educationalists argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#educationalists #non-exam #subjects #music #drama #art #craft #secondary-school #curriculum #activities #performance

Educational institutes should allocate more arts-based subjects to the secondary curriculum. I fully agree with these arguments about improving academic performance. because it keeps

students

very active and improves communication

skills

. Actually, arts and crafts activities are very necessary for

students

's mental health. they will never feel bored and their focus will still be sharp.

in addition

, creative people have a great active personality.

therefore

, art classes will enhance

students

' soft

skills

and their confidence to participate in events or community activities. of course, they will

have

Add the particle

have to

show examples

apply better communication

skills

than peers who didn't join in art classes. in conclusion, Art-based subjects are very crucial in educational curriculums. I am very sure it will help them more than quantitative exams.

This

variety ensures the

students

will stay focused and will improve their

skills

Submitted by ali.s.1993 on Sat Jul 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To improve your logical structure, it's essential to organize your essay clearly with more distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point and be supported by evidence and examples. Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to enhance readability.

task achievement

Introduce more relevant and specific examples to reinforce your arguments. Specific instances can make your points more convincing and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to proofread your essay for grammar, punctuation, and capitalization errors. Proper sentence structure and correct spelling are important for clarity and professionalism.

task achievement

You presented a clear stance on the topic, which makes your argument coherent and easy to follow.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your view, providing a strong ending to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

135 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people move to other countries when they retire. Others think that it is better to retire in their home country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples.
The issue of whether individuals should migrate to other countries for retirement or retire in their home country has sparked a lot of controversy. One side believes people should move to other countries for retirement because they say changing an environment can have a positively impact on the mind and they say foreign countries have better standards of living. However, the other side thinks that it is better to retire in their countries because they articulate that staying in a foreign country is very costly and there are usually social problems. I personally side with those that are against the idea of retiring in a foreign nation.
5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believ that they should be free to work in another country if they wish.
While some people take the view that experts like doctors and engineers must work in the country where they learned, others believe that they should go to the desired countries they want. In my opinion, it is better for the individuals to work freely as they have rights to manage their prospective careers.
5.5
band
Tourists damage many historical places, making them harder to preserve. What are some of the reasons for this? Suggest some ways to resolve this problem.
It is true that the damage to historical places by tourists has become a critical issue in contemporary society. While this is a serious problem, it can be solved by informing tourists more about how severe their behavior can be.
5
band
The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and to the society they live in. To what extent do you agree and disagree?
In this digitalized era many people and children tend to use modern gadgets for entertainment purposes. It is widely believed that usage of these devices for video games, accessing social media, and watching movies have detrimental impacts than metis to humans and to the society. I completely agree with this statement as there are health issues, limited social interactions as a result of over usage screens even though there are some advantages such as cheap and easily accessible entertainment for everyone. This essay will discuss the merits and issues of modern devices and provide my own opinion.
<4
band
the process below shows how drinking water is made using solar power. write a report for university lectirer describing the information given below
The picture depicts about the cycle of producing healthy drinking water by using photovoltaic panels with optimized renewable energy. Overall, there are three steps involved, which include energy transformation, water process, and generating proper water to drink.

Some educationalists argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people move to other countries when they retire. Others think that it is better to retire in their home country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believ that they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

Tourists damage many historical places, making them harder to preserve. What are some of the reasons for this? Suggest some ways to resolve this problem.

The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and to the society they live in. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

the process below shows how drinking water is made using solar power. write a report for university lectirer describing the information given below