Some educationalists argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#educationalists #non-exam #subjects #music #drama #art #craft #secondary-school #curriculum #activities #performance

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Educational institutes should allocate more arts-based subjects to the secondary curriculum. I fully agree with these arguments about improving academic performance. because it keeps

students

very active and improves communication

skills

. Actually, arts and crafts activities are very necessary for

students

's mental health. they will never feel bored and their focus will still be sharp.

in addition

, creative people have a great active personality.

therefore

, art classes will enhance

students

' soft

skills

and their confidence to participate in events or community activities. of course, they will

have

Add the particle

have to

show examples

apply better communication

skills

than peers who didn't join in art classes. in conclusion, Art-based subjects are very crucial in educational curriculums. I am very sure it will help them more than quantitative exams.

This

variety ensures the

students

will stay focused and will improve their

skills

Submitted by ali.s.1993 on Sat Jul 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve your logical structure, it's essential to organize your essay clearly with more distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point and be supported by evidence and examples. Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to enhance readability.

task achievement

Introduce more relevant and specific examples to reinforce your arguments. Specific instances can make your points more convincing and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to proofread your essay for grammar, punctuation, and capitalization errors. Proper sentence structure and correct spelling are important for clarity and professionalism.

task achievement

You presented a clear stance on the topic, which makes your argument coherent and easy to follow.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your view, providing a strong ending to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

135 words

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Some educationalists argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that illegal internet download are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give own opinion.

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?