The chart below shows the percentage change in the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian provinces over a period of 5 years.

#percentage #change #students #university #graduates #canadian #provinces #period #years

The chart represents

international

Correct article usage

the international

show examples

students

percentage among university graduates in Canada over 5 years. New

Brunswick

stood in the first rank of international

students

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to the other Canadian

Universities

Whereas

Ontario has the minimum proportion of international

students

over the periods.

To begin

with, the graph

depict

Change the verb form

depicts

show examples

universities

with the most and the least international

students

in 2001 and 2006. In 2001, New

Brunswick

has

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

the most international

students

following

Wrong verb form

followed

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

Nova Scotia and Quebec with over

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

5%.

While

the rest of

universities

Correct article usage

the universities

show examples

namely Alberta, British Columbia, Manitoba, Newfoundland and Labrador and

lastly

Ontario

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

the least of international

students

Change the noun form

student

show examples

population with just less than 5%.

However

, the

overall

of international

students

percentage in 2006 rapidly

growing

Wrong verb form

grew

show examples

Still

Add a comma

Still,

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first place, New

Brunswick

leads the bar graph of the

students

with over

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

10%

students

Change preposition

of students

show examples

. Nova Scotia and British Columbia ranked after with just a little bit over

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

10%. The

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

universities

still maintained and experienced an

increasement

Correct your spelling

increase

in the graph with more than 5% growth

overall

. In conclusion, between 2001 and 2006 there

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

still an increase in the international

students

Change the noun form

student

show examples

population.

Nevertheless

, New

Brunswick

always ranks

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first among

another

Replace the adjective

another university

other universities

show examples

universities

during the periods,

whereas

Ontario placed

Change preposition

show examples

the bottom with the least population.

Submitted by debbychrist10 on Sun Jul 14 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, whereas".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words students, brunswick, universities with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

212 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below shows the percentage change in the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian provinces over a period of 5 years.

The funds for postgraduate research are limited; therefore some people think that the government should provide financial support. In their opinion, only scientific research should be funded, rather than other less useful subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today food travel thousand of mile from farmers to consumers. Why is it so? It is a positive or negative development?

It is common nowadays for each member of family to have their own peace of modern technology. Some people think that this will lead to a break down in the family relationships and communication to what extent do you agree or disagree.

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country., while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and giye your opinion.