IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that food is one of the most fundamental economic products and should be mostly produced by each country for its own consumption, with only minimal export of products to other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and relevant examples.

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It is believed that importing and exporting play a key role in the economic growth of countries and trading
food
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 is a part of it.
However
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, it is argued that authorities should limit
food
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transaction
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transactions
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 for
domestical
Correct your spelling
domestic
 consumption ’s benefit. The following essay will express my negative orientation towards
this
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 statement
along with
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 several supporting reasons. In the modern era, the globalization of markets has increased
in
Change preposition
apply
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all over the world and every
country
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, whether developed or developing
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, tried to possess
the
Correct article usage
a
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 big portion of global markets.
Therefore
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, the agricultural trade is one of these vital areas in which authorities utilize it to expand their export and prosper their economy.
Besides
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, one of the criteria of economic growth is the rate of exporting and importing annually.
This
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 revenue could assist in the development of
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country
Add an article
the country
a country
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 and be spent in other different areas,
such
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 as hygiene and education.
For example
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, Iran is famed for saffron, so
government
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the government
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in addition
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 to other revenue,
such
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 as gas and oil trading, benefits from the outcome of
transaction
Correct article usage
the transaction
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 of saffron. The second reason is the diverse conditions of countries.
Due to
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 the different
climate
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climates
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 or situations of states,
such
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 as overpopulation, harvesting necessary and sufficient nutrition is definitely impossible, so authorities have to import some products to meet citizens’ needs and curb scarcity in states.
For example
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,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Arab Emirates is a dry and hot
country
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 which does not have proper soil or weather to plant wheat or rice, so trading is a practical way for them to solve
this
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 principal problem.
Otherwise
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, the price of essential
necessity
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necessities
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, which is
food
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, would dramatically rise, afterward, the
country
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 will face other issues,
such
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 as
emigration
Correct article usage
the emigration
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 of citizens. All in all, trading agricultural goods is a necessity in some regions. In conclusion, global trading is a key factor in fostering
Correct article usage
the economical
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economical
Replace the word
economic
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 satisfaction of a
country
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. Despite the fact that every state tries to produce the
food
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 consumption of their citizens, they
also
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 tend to allocate their excessive
productions
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production
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 to proportions of global trade to enhance their economy which is a win-win situation for both countries.

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grammar
Be careful with minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For instance, 'transaction for domestical consumption’s benefit' should be 'transactions for domestic consumption’s benefit'.
coherence cohesion
Your main points could be more clearly defined to avoid any ambiguity. Try to outline your reasons more explicitly in your topic sentences.
task achievement
Enhance your examples by providing more context or detail. This will make your arguments stronger and more credible.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, offering a cohesive frame to your argument.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to back up your points, which helps substantiate your arguments.
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