Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are most enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interest than their jobs. Discuss both of the attitudes and give your opinion,
It is true that
,
Remove the comma
apply
human's
Change noun form
human
lives
is a mistery
Correct your spelling
mystery
lives
, Change the noun form
life
people
are confusing
Replace the word
confused
to choose
which is the most Change preposition
about choosing
importance
. Some Replace the word
important
people
believe that work
is the most significant thing in mankind's live
Replace the word
life
while
others say that hobbies
,
and past time Remove the comma
apply
activities
should be ranked first
than their works
. Fix the agreement mistake
work
This
essay will discuss both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons.
On the one hand, human's
Change noun form
human
lives
are very short period, so they should do whatever they like, and make
Verb problem
be
happiness
Replace the word
happy
them
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
That is
, past time
Correct your spelling
pastime
activities
along with
hobbies
can help to produce the happy hormone coupled with
dopamine in our bodies, and as a result
, depression and anxiety will be reduced by this
. For example
, according to
statistics, people
who give more prioritise to their interest
, and Fix the agreement mistake
interests
hobbies
they
stay Correct pronoun usage
apply
for
away from Change preposition
apply
phychological
disorders. Correct your spelling
psychological
Hence
, humankind. should have all rights to do whatever they have more interest rather than work
.
On the other hand
, works
always Correct subject-verb agreement
work
bring
the Verb problem
takes
first
place in people
's lives
rather than hobbies
, and anything else. This
is, some
employees have more passion Correct word choice
because some
to
their jobs, so they like to Change preposition
for
work
hard, and get reward
from their employers Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
such
as incentives, promotions and recognisations. For instance
, businessmen have more passion towards their business, and they always give more piroritise
on Correct your spelling
prioritise
works
rather than anything, even family Fix the agreement mistake
work
relationship
and Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
hobbies
, that's why they could succeed their
Change preposition
in their
career
. Needless to say, if wants to Fix the agreement mistake
careers
carrer
success, Correct your spelling
career
work
should be ranked first
other than always brings secondary.
In conclusion, work
is to be considered as most
crucial Correct article usage
the most
things
in Fix the agreement mistake
thing
people
's lives
because many want to success
Replace the word
succeed
their
Change preposition
in their
carrer
, and they have more passion Correct your spelling
career
to
their Jobs, Change preposition
for
although
, hobbies
,
and leisure Remove the comma
apply
activities
should be ranked first
because it increases the
happy hormone Correct article usage
apply
along with
dopamine, that leads to stay
far Change the verb form
staying
maway
from stress and depression. Correct your spelling
away
However
, in my opinion, hobbies
and pastime activities
are the most significant aspect in
Change preposition
of
people
's lives
than works
.Fix the agreement mistake
work
Submitted by reanudeepan on
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formulation advice
Try to avoid repetitive phrases and ensure there is variety in your sentence structures to keep the reader engaged. Additionally, make sure to use correct and consistent verb tenses across your essay.
paragraph advice
Ensure that each paragraph discusses only one main idea. This will help in creating a logical and clear progression of your argument. Avoid introducing new ideas in your conclusion.
grammar advice
Aim to reduce grammatical errors, as they can potentially confuse the reader and interrupt the flow of your essay. Pay special attention to subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles.
introduction highlight
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion, setting the stage for the discussion.
balanced discussion highlight
You provide a balanced discussion by addressing both viewpoints before presenting your opinion. This shows a good understanding of the essay requirements.
example highlight
You attempt to substantiate your viewpoints with examples, which adds relevance to your arguments.
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