The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given charts demonstrate the location and
type
Use synonyms
choices of
dance
Use synonyms
classes of young
people
Use synonyms
in a town
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Australia. The choices of location include private
studios
Use synonyms
, college-based
studios
Use synonyms
, school
halls
Use synonyms
(after-school), and community
halls
Use synonyms
&
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
the choices of
type
Use synonyms
contain
ballet
Use synonyms
, tap, and modern.
According to
Linking Words
the first chart, 2
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
less than half of
people
Use synonyms
choose to attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dance
Use synonyms
classes in private
studios
Use synonyms
, accounting for the largest proportion. In the meantime, school
halls
Use synonyms
(after-school)
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
nearly a quarter of the total, and community
halls
Use synonyms
& other takes 18%. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrast, college-based
studios
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the least popular option, occupying only 10%. As the second chart shows, as
people
Use synonyms
grow older, their choice is reversed. In the group that age under 11, the most popular
type
Use synonyms
of
dance
Use synonyms
class is
ballet
Use synonyms
, occupying nearly 50%,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
dance
Use synonyms
is the least popular one, only
takes
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
a quarter. The story for the age between 11 and 16 is totally different, approximately half of the
people
Use synonyms
choose modern
dance
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
only a quarter of them choose
ballet
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, more
people
Use synonyms
prefer to attend
dnace
Correct your spelling
dance
classes in private
studios
Use synonyms
, and it's completely opposite when it comes to the relationship between the
type
Use synonyms
of
dance
Use synonyms
class
people
Use synonyms
choose and
the
Change the word
their
show examples
age, children prefer to choose
ballet
Use synonyms
and teenagers prefer to choose modern
dance
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by RaymondHuang on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words type, dance, people, studios, halls, ballet with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • attending
  • currently
  • location
  • variety
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • jazz
  • venues
  • popularity
  • attendees
  • juxtaposing
  • correlating
  • proximity
  • cultural influences
  • trends
  • anomalies
  • monopoly
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • enrollment
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