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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #units #electricity #production #fuel #source #australia #france #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie
charts
Use synonyms
 illustrate the share of various fuel sources for producing electricity in
France
Use synonyms
 and
Australia
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and 2000. It can be clearly seen that in
Australia
Use synonyms
, coal was the main source both in 1980 and 2000. Looking at the pie
charts
Use synonyms
 related to
Australia
Use synonyms
 it is evident that the
rate
Use synonyms
 of using coal for electricity production significantly increased from 50
units
Use synonyms
 in 1980 to 130
units
Use synonyms
 in 2000.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the usage
rate
Use synonyms
 for other fuel sources including oil, natural gas, and
hydro power
Correct your spelling
hydropower
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 experienced a sharp drop from 10,20 and 20
units
Use synonyms
 to 2
units
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 for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three. Moving on to the pie
charts
Use synonyms
 related to
Use synonyms
france
Change the capitalization
France
show examples
, in 1980, the highest
rate
Use synonyms
 belongs to natural gas and coal with both having 25
units
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the whole share.
In addition
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 nuclear power was used at 15
Use synonyms
units
Fix the agreement mistake
unit
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 in 1980, its usage
was surged
Change to the active voice
surged
show examples
 to 120
units
Use synonyms
 in 2000. The use of oil ,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
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 remained approximately the same in both 1980 and 2000 with only 5
units
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 difference, being higher in 2000.
Oversal
Correct your spelling
Overall
, comparing the
charts
Use synonyms
 related to
Use synonyms
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
france
Change the capitalization
France
show examples
 one significant difference is that
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
nuclear power in
Use synonyms
france
Change the capitalization
France
show examples
 was the major fuel source for electricity production in 2000. It was not used in
Use synonyms
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
 at all either in 1980 or 2000.
Submitted by amir1375.6 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words charts, france, australia, rate, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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