The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

#graphs #show #survey #children #activities #first #leisure #boys #second #girls

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The pie charts provide the outcome of a study about children’s leisure activities between

boys

and

girls

Overall

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

boys

enjoy playing computer games,

whereas

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

counterparts, the

girls

, love dancing.

In addition

boys

tend not to read books and an insignificant proportion of

girls

listen to music. Delving into details, computer games account for the highest proportion with 34% for

boys

whereas

only 16% of

girls

spend their

free-time

Correct your spelling

free time

show examples

playing

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

However

, dancing is the most popular sport for

girls

at 27%, and 26% of

boys

prefer to spend time playing basketball. As for reading 21% of

girls

this

activity, which is far greater than

boys

with only 2%. It is noticeable that listening to music

account

Fix the agreement mistake

accounts

show examples

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

same ratio with

one tenth

Add a hyphen

one-tenth

show examples

both for

boys

and

girls

Compare

Wrong verb form

Compared

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

outdoor sports 11% of

girls

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

like to go to gymnastics

whereas

17% of

boys

love playing football

Change preposition

show examples

the ground.

Girls

enjoy playing netball

however

boys

prefer

Add the particle

prefer to

show examples

go skateboarding with 15% and 11% respectively.

Submitted by duzirong on Wed Jul 17 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, whereas".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

169 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

survey
cultural activities
leisure activities
participate
percentage
gender difference
similar participation rates
traditional gender roles
trends
impact
parental influence
extracurricular activities
accessible

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The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

“Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”

Fossil fuels are essential for producing electricity, powering industry and fuelling transportation. However, one day we will reach a point when all the world’s fossil fuels have been depleted. How can we conserve these resources? What are some alternatives to fossil fuels?

Some people feel that children should be able to choose the subjects they are interested in while others feel they should study the basic require subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.