In many countries, an increase in crime rate has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In the contemporary era, revealing
crimal
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criminal
critical
tendencial
impression
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impressions
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via electronic media
have
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has
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criticed
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critiqued
that globally.
As a result
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, crime
level
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levels
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have
a
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apply
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rise
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risen
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in nations.
In
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This
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this
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essay will
outlined
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outline
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the reasons why I reckon
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criminal
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Firstly
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people
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whose
mind
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minds
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is
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frigid and immature
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are
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impact
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impacted
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by these illustrations. When
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an
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adolescent age,
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have
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a strong curiosity
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about
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adult
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the adult
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world.
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not think clearly
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about
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what they actually want to do
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apply
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.
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mostly
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most
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of these teenagers just want to experience what they have watched on the internet
,
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apply
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when they
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are arrested
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by
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authorities
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they'll know what's the
sensity
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density
sense
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who endure
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the stress from workplaces acquire the method of killing others easily.Nowadays,
people
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working with heavy stress, under a
long term
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long-term
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of
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apply
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high-stress condition, who
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employ
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there will become moody.
For instance
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,when they
go to
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become
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extremely emotional, a huge number of
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are able
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to get knives
on
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at
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the
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online shopping
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mall as
easy
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easily
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as
click
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clicking
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on the computer, they can
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easily
boosted by the way of
injure
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injuring
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others which they
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find
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on the world wide web. For the reasons
metioned
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mentioned
above,
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who encourage
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encourage
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are encouraged
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to
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apply
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crime have the main
factors
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factor
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of it's simpler to get the form to complement. No matter,the stress from
company
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the company
a company
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or the timing when young
people
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is
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are
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curious about
take
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taking
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actioon
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action
indeed.
Submitted by peihanw5 on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on refining your sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity. Some phrases and sentences are difficult to understand due to incorrect grammar or awkward phrasing.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples or explanations. Your ideas are good, but they need to be more organized and clearly linked to your main argument.
introduction conclusion present
Develop a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This helps reinforce your argument to the reader.
task achievement
You have correctly identified possible reasons why violent media might influence crime rates, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured into paragraphs with distinct ideas, which is a good approach to organizing your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitize
  • aggressive behavior
  • psychological theories
  • Bandura's Social Learning Theory
  • conclusive scientific evidence
  • correlation
  • multi-factorial
  • socio-economic status
  • mental health
  • sole cause
  • outlet for aggression
  • teamwork
  • strategic thinking
  • counter-studies
  • awareness
  • violent media
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