In many countries, an increase in crime rate has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In the contemporary era, revealing
crimal
tendencial Correct your spelling
criminal
critical
impression
via electronic media Fix the agreement mistake
impressions
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
criticed
that globally.Correct your spelling
critiqued
As a result
, crime level
have Fix the agreement mistake
levels
a
Correct article usage
apply
rise
in nations.Wrong verb form
risen
In
Change preposition
This
this
essay will outlined
the reasons why I reckon Change the verb form
outline
crimal
emerage is related to the brutal graphs.
Correct your spelling
criminal
Firstly
,people
whose mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
is
frigid and immature Correct subject-verb agreement
are
get
Verb problem
are
impact
by these illustrations. When Wrong verb form
impacted
people
at
Add a missing verb
are at
a
adolescent age, Change the article
an
having
a strong curiosity Wrong verb form
have
of
Change preposition
about
adult
world. Add an article
the adult
Moreover
,they are
not think clearly Verb problem
do
of
what they actually want to doChange preposition
about
enough
. Rephrase
apply
However
, mostly
of these teenagers just want to experience what they have watched on the internetCorrect your spelling
most
,
when they Remove the comma
apply
arrested
by Add a missing verb
are arrested
authories
they'll know what's the Correct your spelling
authorities
authorises
sensity
.
Correct your spelling
density
sense
Secondly
,individuals endure
the stress from workplaces acquire the method of killing others easily.Nowadays, Correct pronoun usage
who endure
people
working with heavy stress, under a long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
of
high-stress condition, who Change preposition
apply
employing
there will become moody.Wrong verb form
employ
For instance
,when they go to
extremely emotional, a huge number of Verb problem
become
people
enable
to get knives Correct your spelling
are able
on
the Change preposition
at
online-shopping
mall as Correct your spelling
online shopping
easy
as Change the word
easily
click
on the computer, they can Wrong verb form
clicking
eaily
boosted by the way of Correct your spelling
easily
injure
others which they Change the form of the verb
injuring
found
on the world wide web.
For the reasons Wrong verb form
find
metioned
above,Correct your spelling
mentioned
people
Correct pronoun usage
who encourage
encourage
Wrong verb form
are encouraged
to
crime have the main Change preposition
apply
factors
of it's simpler to get the form to complement. No matter,the stress from Fix the agreement mistake
factor
company
or the timing when young Add an article
the company
a company
people
is
curious about Correct subject-verb agreement
are
take
Change the verb form
taking
actioon
indeed.Correct your spelling
action
Submitted by peihanw5 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Focus on refining your sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity. Some phrases and sentences are difficult to understand due to incorrect grammar or awkward phrasing.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples or explanations. Your ideas are good, but they need to be more organized and clearly linked to your main argument.
introduction conclusion present
Develop a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This helps reinforce your argument to the reader.
task achievement
You have correctly identified possible reasons why violent media might influence crime rates, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured into paragraphs with distinct ideas, which is a good approach to organizing your response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.