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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#bar #five #industries’ #percentage #brazil’s #economy #forecast #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart describes industries and the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of Brazil's economy that consists of 5 industries to 45%. Each
industry
Use synonyms
 has 3 bar charts which are divided into 3 colours which are blue as 2009, orange as 2019, and grey as 2019. At
first,
Linking Words
in 2009, there was the finance
industry
Use synonyms
, which got the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 at 30% and was followed by
tourism
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 and
oil
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, coal, and
gas
Use synonyms
, which had the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 at 25%. Manufacturing had a slightly different
percentage
Use synonyms
 with
tourism
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 and
oil
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, coal, and
gas
Use synonyms
 which just 5% under. The lowest
industry
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 in Brazil in 2009 was food processing which only got 10%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2019, the bar charts are getting more stable than in 2009 as the difference is between 5% and 10%. The highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 2019 was finance with 35%, and
oil
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, coal, and
gas
Use synonyms
 got
the
Correct article usage
apply
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second place with 30%.
Next,
Linking Words
the
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tourism
Use synonyms
 and food processing got the same
percentage
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
at
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 20% and were followed by the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 only 15%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in 2029, it is predicted that the financial
industry
Use synonyms
 get 40% and will decrease gradually in food processing and manufacturing with 10% and 5%. In conclusion, the financial
industry
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 has always
increasing
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 over the years by 5%.
Besides
Linking Words
, manufacturing
gets
Verb problem
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continuously decreases and the
oil
Use synonyms
, coal,
gas
Use synonyms
 and
tourism
Use synonyms
 stay at the average
percentage
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, industry, tourism, oil, gas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 8 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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