IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The graphs below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

The graphs below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000.
#graphs #show #percentage #men #women #four #countries
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In
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 graphs below , we can see the percentage of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 aged 60-64 who were employed in four nations in 1970 and 2000
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
 graphs , show how men’s
employment
 in Belgium in 1970 was
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top ,but in 2000 fell sharply ,and women’s
employment
at
Add a missing verb
was at
show examples
 a low level , and to 2000 years
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 stable . In
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 men’s work was above average in 1970 ,
however
 in 2000
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 bit decreased to
fifty five
Add a hyphen
fifty-five
show examples
precent
Correct your spelling
per cent
. Women’s work in 1970 was lower than
2000
Change preposition
in 2000
show examples
 ,
female’s
Change noun form
female
show examples
employment
 slightly increased from 36 % to 39 % . In Japans females and males
employment
 in 2000 year decreased compared with 1970 . In
Australia
Add a comma
Australia,
show examples
employment
 of males was
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high, but in 2000 fell sharply .
However
 women’s work little bit
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
higher like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
16% .
Submitted by sa_artek on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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