The graphs below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000.
In
this
graphs below , we can see the percentage of Correct determiner usage
the
female
and Fix the agreement mistake
females
male
aged 60-64 who were employed in four nations in 1970 and 2000
Fix the agreement mistake
males
In
Change preposition
This
this
graphs , show how men’s employment
in Belgium in 1970 was on
the top ,but in 2000 fell sharply ,and women’s Change preposition
at
employment
at
a low level , and to 2000 years Add a missing verb
was at
stay
stable . In Wrong verb form
stayed
USA
men’s work was above average in 1970 , Correct article usage
the USA
however
in 2000 little
bit decreased to Correct article usage
a little
fifty five
Add a hyphen
fifty-five
precent
. Women’s work in 1970 was lower than Correct your spelling
per cent
2000
,Change preposition
in 2000
female’s
Change noun form
female
employment
slightly increased from 36 % to 39 % . In Japans females and males employment
in 2000 year decreased compared with 1970 . In Australia
Add a comma
Australia,
employment
of males was in
high, but in 2000 fell sharply . Change preposition
apply
However
women’s work little bit become
higher like Verb problem
apply
a
16% .Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by sa_artek on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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