IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The graphs below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

The graphs below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000.
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In
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 graphs below , we can see the percentage of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 aged 60-64 who were employed in four nations in 1970 and 2000
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 graphs , show how men’s
employment
Use synonyms
 in Belgium in 1970 was
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top ,but in 2000 fell sharply ,and women’s
employment
Use synonyms
at
Add a missing verb
was at
show examples
 a low level , and to 2000 years
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 stable . In
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 men’s work was above average in 1970 ,
however
Linking Words
 in 2000
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 bit decreased to
fifty five
Add a hyphen
fifty-five
show examples
precent
Correct your spelling
per cent
. Women’s work in 1970 was lower than
2000
Change preposition
in 2000
show examples
 ,
female’s
Change noun form
female
show examples
employment
Use synonyms
 slightly increased from 36 % to 39 % . In Japans females and males
employment
Use synonyms
 in 2000 year decreased compared with 1970 . In
Australia
Add a comma
Australia,
show examples
employment
Use synonyms
 of males was
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high, but in 2000 fell sharply .
However
Linking Words
 women’s work little bit
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
higher like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
16% .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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