Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is hard to deny that learning other
subjects
Use synonyms
instead
of the courses or major a university Linking Words
student
Use synonyms
chose
would reduce the Wrong verb form
chooses
time
the Use synonyms
student
spends on the major courses, and Use synonyms
such
a fact leads impressionable people to generate the opinion that students should pay full attention to their majors. Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
such
a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies, and it should be examined meticulously. As far as effectiveness, economy and feasibility are concerned, I strongly hold that students should spend Linking Words
time
on other Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
in addition
to their main Linking Words
subjects
.
First and foremost, we are now living in Use synonyms
a
unprecedented Change the article
an
fast changing
world, most of the occupations require not only Add a hyphen
fast-changing
skills
in a single Use synonyms
relam
. To be specific, a Correct your spelling
realm
student
focusing on the main Use synonyms
subjects
may get a high qualification in Use synonyms
this
field, Linking Words
however
, the Linking Words
students'
career choices are Correct your spelling
student's
also
fixed in Linking Words
this
field. Nowadays most Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
the
jobs require Correct article usage
apply
skills
from many different fields, Use synonyms
for example
, being a teacher not only requires Linking Words
skills
in teaching and speaking, but Use synonyms
also
the skill of communicating.
Linking Words
Furthermore
, the fact that learning about other Linking Words
subjects
Use synonyms
require
little money indicates that spending Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
time
on other Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
while
learning main Linking Words
subjects
is Use synonyms
a
economic behaviour. Take the case of myself, a college Correct article usage
an
student
among thousands, I am Use synonyms
major
in artificial intelligence,Wrong verb form
majoring
I
always spend Correct word choice
and I
time
learning other Use synonyms
subjects
like software Use synonyms
developing
and data analysis with the help of the Internet, I can search for thousands of free resources on the Internet. Replace the word
development
As a result
, I can higher salary in my internships, as I am able to work on more things. Had it not been for learning about other Linking Words
subjects
, I would never Use synonyms
get
so many choices Wrong verb form
have had
high
salary Correct word choice
and high
in
work.
Change preposition
apply
Nevertheless
, a voice arises that spending Linking Words
time
on other Use synonyms
subjects
reduces the Use synonyms
time
on main Use synonyms
subjects
, it's true as Use synonyms
time
is equal Use synonyms
to
everyone. Ironically, Change preposition
for
a
people with good Correct article usage
apply
time
-management Use synonyms
skills
will never be bothered by Use synonyms
this
. As a matter of fact, lots of free Linking Words
time
can be used for studying other Use synonyms
subjects
in university, which will not affect getting Use synonyms
a
high marks in main Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
subjects
. As the old saying goes, "Use synonyms
when
there is a will, there is a way", if a Capitalize word
When
student
wants to learn more things, he or she will Use synonyms
definately
get the Correct your spelling
definitely
time
to do so.
In conclusion, spending Use synonyms
time
not only on Use synonyms
main
Correct article usage
the main
subjects
Use synonyms
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
on other Linking Words
subjects
is much better than paying full attention Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
main
Correct article usage
the main
subjects
.Use synonyms
Submitted by RaymondHuang
on
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Grammar
There are several grammar errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'an unprecedented fast changing world' should be 'an unprecedentedly fast-changing world' and 'an economic behaviour' should be 'an economical behavior.'
Coherence & Cohesion
Although the essay is adequately structured, some transitions between points could be smoother, which would improve overall coherence.
Task Achievement
Some arguments could be further developed for greater depth and persuasiveness, and it would be beneficial to add more varied vocabulary to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Argument
The essay presents both sides of the argument effectively and offers a clear opinion with strong supporting points.
Examples
The inclusion of a personal example strengthens the argument and makes the essay more relatable.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and effective, framing the essay well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.