The natural Sesources such and fresh water as oil, forests. are being consumed. at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve these problems.

#sesources #water #oil #forests #rate

It is certainly true that natural resources

such

fresh

Correct your spelling

freshwater

show examples

water

, oil and

forests

are being used

Change preposition

show examples

an extremely fast and unethical way.

Due to

this

, many issues and the solutions to these issues have been implemented, which I will be discussing below.

Firstly

, resources like fresh

water

are at a very low rate around the world. Out of the 78% of the river bodies around the world, only 1.12% is fresh

water

Due to

the high consumption, it is decreasing at a very concerning rate.

Moreover

freshwaterwater

Correct your spelling

freshwater water

itself cannot be replenished, meaning once it is gone it cannot be regained.

Consequently

, the

water

we drink is being produced chemically which is not good for our well-being.

Secondly

forests

are being absolutely massacred and destroyed

due to

the amount of construction taking place to build buildings, roads and dams.

As a result

, the percentage of oxygen in the atmosphere is going down.

This

leads to severe climate changes like earthquakes and acid rain.

Furthermore

, wildlife and tribal people are being displaced.

However

, all of

this

can be taken care of and solved if only the government looks into the situation and takes some important steps.

Firstly

, they will have to build campaigns and institutions that look into and observe carefully the abuse of fresh

water

forests

etcetera.

Furthermore

, they should monitor private industries and companies closely, as they illegally chop down

forests

and overuse the freshwater.

Moreover

, the government can invest in renewable energy in order to avoid deforestation. In conclusion, sustainable practices and renewable energy investments are crucial to mitigate resource depletion and ensure a balanced ecosystem for future generations.

Submitted by ahv on Fri Jul 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on the logical structure of your essay. The transitions between some ideas could be smoother and more natural.

task achievement

Try to incorporate more specific and detailed examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.

task achievement

Be mindful of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing: e.g., 'freshwaterwater' should be 'freshwater,' and ‘78% of the river bodies’ should be ‘78% of the Earth's surface is covered by water' and specify correct fresh water percentage.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion effectively set up and wrap up the discussion, which helps in understanding the main points of the essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses the main issues and offers relevant solutions, presenting a balanced view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Depletion
Scarcity
Sanitation
Rainwater harvesting
Efficient irrigation systems
Overconsumption
Environmental pollution
Climate change
Renewable energy
Wind power
Solar power
Hydro power
Deforestation
Biodiversity
Ecosystems
Regulations
Logging
Reforestation
Finite resources
Economic instability
Conflicts
Sustainable consumption
International cooperation
Resource management

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The natural Sesources such and fresh water as oil, forests. are being consumed. at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve these problems.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

Many organisations and companies ask their staff to wear a uniform. What are the advantages of this?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some Companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn all the time. What are the advantages for a company of having a uniform? Are there any benefits or drawbacks of having a uniform for the staff?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+