The natural Sesources such and fresh water as oil, forests. are being consumed. at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve these problems.

#sesources #water #oil #forests #rate

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It is certainly true that natural resources

such

fresh

Correct your spelling

freshwater

show examples

water

, oil and

forests

are being used

Change preposition

show examples

an extremely fast and unethical way.

Due to

this

, many issues and the solutions to these issues have been implemented, which I will be discussing below.

Firstly

, resources like fresh

water

are at a very low rate around the world. Out of the 78% of the river bodies around the world, only 1.12% is fresh

water

Due to

the high consumption, it is decreasing at a very concerning rate.

Moreover

freshwaterwater

Correct your spelling

freshwater water

itself cannot be replenished, meaning once it is gone it cannot be regained.

Consequently

, the

water

we drink is being produced chemically which is not good for our well-being.

Secondly

forests

are being absolutely massacred and destroyed

due to

the amount of construction taking place to build buildings, roads and dams.

As a result

, the percentage of oxygen in the atmosphere is going down.

This

leads to severe climate changes like earthquakes and acid rain.

Furthermore

, wildlife and tribal people are being displaced.

However

, all of

this

can be taken care of and solved if only the government looks into the situation and takes some important steps.

Firstly

, they will have to build campaigns and institutions that look into and observe carefully the abuse of fresh

water

forests

etcetera.

Furthermore

, they should monitor private industries and companies closely, as they illegally chop down

forests

and overuse the freshwater.

Moreover

, the government can invest in renewable energy in order to avoid deforestation. In conclusion, sustainable practices and renewable energy investments are crucial to mitigate resource depletion and ensure a balanced ecosystem for future generations.

Submitted by ahv on Fri Jul 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on the logical structure of your essay. The transitions between some ideas could be smoother and more natural.

task achievement

Try to incorporate more specific and detailed examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.

task achievement

Be mindful of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing: e.g., 'freshwaterwater' should be 'freshwater,' and ‘78% of the river bodies’ should be ‘78% of the Earth's surface is covered by water' and specify correct fresh water percentage.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion effectively set up and wrap up the discussion, which helps in understanding the main points of the essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses the main issues and offers relevant solutions, presenting a balanced view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Depletion
Scarcity
Sanitation
Rainwater harvesting
Efficient irrigation systems
Overconsumption
Environmental pollution
Climate change
Renewable energy
Wind power
Solar power
Hydro power
Deforestation
Biodiversity
Ecosystems
Regulations
Logging
Reforestation
Finite resources
Economic instability
Conflicts
Sustainable consumption
International cooperation
Resource management

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The natural Sesources such and fresh water as oil, forests. are being consumed. at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve these problems.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The graph below she's the percentage of new zealand school children latching second language by language leading for three years 2006 to 2014.

Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transportation system such as railway and trains. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centre or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?