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Writing Samples
Band 4

The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between Between 2000 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between Between 2000 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportions #pupils #four #school #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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Firstly
Linking Words
 we can see that the community
Schools
Use synonyms
 had the highest rate in 2009 and
overall
Linking Words
 throughout the years it's still the highest percentage. Unlike the specialist
Schools
Use synonyms
 that have the lowest rates compared to the other
Schools
Use synonyms
. The most balanced school from what we can see will be the voluntary-controlled
Schools
Use synonyms
. In recent years specialist
Schools
Use synonyms
 and Grammar
Schools
Use synonyms
 have been significantly lower than the other
schools
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
show examples
 we should know what is it that makes Community
Schools
Use synonyms
 higher than the others and at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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 we should know why Specialist
Schools
Use synonyms
 have the lowest rates and we should not forget about the other two
Schools
Use synonyms
. We should take notice
why
Change preposition
of why
show examples
 there are no
such
Linking Words
 improvements and almost only downfalls.
Submitted by alaanoudaltammaami on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words schools with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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